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The Knight of the Burning Pestle
The Knight of the Burning Pestle

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THETHE
KNIGHTKNIGHT OFOF
thethe BurningBurning PestlePestle.


QuodQuod sisi
IudiciumJudiciumjudicium subtilesubtilesubtle, videndisvidendis artibusartibus illudillud
AdAd libroslibros &et adad hæchaechaec MusarumMusarum donadona vocaresvocares:
BœotumBoeotumBoeotum inin crassocrasso iuraresiurares aëreaëre natosnatos.

Horat.Horat. inin Epist.Epist. adad Oct.Oct. Aug.Aug.


LONDONLONDON,
PrintedPrinted forfor WalterWalter BurreBurreburr, andand areare toto bebe soldsold atat thethe
signesign ofof thethe CraneCrane inin PaulesPaul’s Church-yardChurchyard.
16131613.


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TOTO HISHIS MANYMANY
WAIESWAYSways ENDEEREDENDEARED
friendfriend MaisterMaster RobertRobert KeysarKeysar.


SIRSIR, thisthis vnfortunateunfortunate childchild, whowho
inin eighteight daiesdays (asas latelylately II hauehave
learnedlearned) waswas begotbegot andand borneborn
soonesoon afterafter, waswas byby hishis parentsparents
(perhapsperhaps becausebecause heehe waswas soso vn-vnlikevn∣likeunlike
like
hishis brethrenbrethrenbrothers) exposedexposed toto thethe
widewide worldworld, whowho forfor wantwant ofof
iudgementjudgement, oror notnot vnderstandingunderstanding
thethe priuyprivy markemark ofof IronieIrony aboutabout
itit (whichwhich shewedshowed itit waswas nono of-springoffspring ofof anyany vulgarvulgar
brainebrain) vtterlyutterly reiectedrejected itit: soso thatthat forfor wantwant ofof accep-acceptanceaccep∣tanceacceptance
tance
itit waswas eueneven readyready toto giuegive vpup thethe GhostGhost, andand waswas inin
dangerdanger toto hauehave benebeen smotheredsmothered inin perpetuallperpetual obliuionoblivion, ifif
youyou (outout ofof youryour directdirect antipathyantipathy toto ingratitudeingratitude) hadhad notnot
benebeen mouedmoved bothboth toto relieuerelieve andand cherishcherish itit: whereinwherein II mustmust
needsneeds commendcommend bothboth youryour iudgementjudgement, vnderstan-vnderstandingvnderstan∣dingunderstanding
ding,
andand singularsingular louelove toto goodgood witswits; youyou afterwardsafterwards sentsent
itit toto meeme, yetyet beingbeing anan infantinfant andand somewhatsomewhat raggedragged, II
hauehave fostredfostered itit priuatelyprivately inin mymy bosomebosom thesethese twotwo yearesyears,
A2
and

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The Epistle Dedicatory.

andand nownow toto shewshow, mymy louelove returnereturn itit toto youyou, cladclad inin goodgood
lastinglasting cloathsclothes, whichwhich scarcescarce memorymemory willwill wearewear outout, andand
ableable toto speakespeak forfor it selfeitself; andand withallwithal, asas itit tellethtelleth meeme,
desirousdesirous toto trytry hishis fortunefortune inin thethe worldworld, wherewhere ifif yetyet itit bebe
welcomewelcome, bothboth fatherfather andand foster-fatherfoster-father, nursenurse andand childchild,
hauehave theirtheir desireddesired endend. IfIf itit beebe slightedslighted oror traducedtraduced, itit
hopeshopes hishis fatherfather willwill begetbeget himhim aa yongeryounger brotherbrother, whowho
shallshall reuengerevenge hishis quarrellquarrel, andand challengechallenge thethe worldworld ei-eitherei∣thereither
ther
ofof fondfond andand meerelymerely literallliteral interpretationinterpretation, oror illite-illiterateillite∣rateilliterate
rate
misprisionmisprision. PerhapsPerhaps itit willwill bebe thoughtthought toto beebe ofof thethe
racerace ofof DonDon QuixoteQuixote: wewe bothboth maymay confidentlyconfidently sweareswear,
itit isis hishis elderelder aboueabove aa yeareyear; andand thereforetherefore maymay (byby ver-vertuever∣tuevirtue
tue
ofof hishis birth-rightbirthright) challengechallenge thethe wallwall ofof himhim. II doubtdoubt
notnot butbut theythey willwill meetmeet inin theirtheir aduenturesadventures, andand II hopehope thethe
breakingbreaking ofof oneone staffestaff willwill makemake themthem friendsfriends; andand per-perhapsper∣hapsperhaps
haps
theythey willwill conbinecombine themseluesthemselves, andand trauelltravel throughthrough
thethe worldworld toto seekeseek theirtheir aduenturesadventures. SoSo II commitcommit himhim toto
hishis goodgood fortunefortune, andand my selfemyself toto youryour louelove.



YourYour assuredassured friendfriend


W.W. B.B.


The

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TheThe famousfamous HistorieHistory
OfOf thethe KnightKnight ofof thethe burningburning
PESTLEPESTLE.


EnterEnter PROLOGVEPROLOGUEprologue.

FRomFRomFrom allall that’sthat’s neerenear thethe CourtCourt, fromfrom allall
 that’sthat’s greatgreat
WithinWithin thethe compassecompass ofof thethe Citty-walsCity wallsCity-walls,
WeWe nownow hauehave broughtbrought ourour SceaneScene.
EnterEnter CitizenCitizen.
Cit.CitizenCit.HoldHold youryour peacepeace good-mangoodman boyboy.
Pro.ProloguePro.WhatWhat dodo youyou meanemean sirsir?
Cit.CitizenCit.ThatThat youyou hauehave nono goodgood meaningmeaning: ThisThis seuenseven yearesyears
therethere hathhath beenebeen playesplays atat thisthis househouse, II hauehave obseruedobserved itit,
youyou hauehave stillstill girdsgirds atat CitizensCitizens; andand nownow youyou callcall youryour playplay,
TheThe LondonLondon MarchantMerchant. DowneDown withwith youryour TitleTitle boyboy, downedown
withwith youryour TitleTitle.
Pro.ProloguePro.AreAre youyou aa membermember ofof thethe noblenoble CittyCity?
Cit.CitizenCit.II amam.
Pro.ProloguePro.AndAnd aa Free-manFreeman?
Cit.CitizenCit.YeaYea, andand aa GrocerGrocer.
Pro.ProloguePro.SoSo GrocerGrocer, thenthen byby youryour sweetsweet fauourfavour, wewe intendintend
nono abuseabuse toto thethe CittyCity.
Cit.CitizenCit.NoNo sirsir, yesyes sirsir, ifif youyou werewere notnot resolu’dresolved toto playplay thethe
IacksJacksjacks, whatwhat needneed youyou studystudy forfor newnew subiectssubjects, purposelypurposely toto a-abusea∣buseabuse
abuse
youryour bettersbetters? whywhy couldcould notnot youyou bebe contentedcontented, asas wellwell
asas othersothers, withwith thethe legendlegend ofof WhittingtonWhittington, oror thethe lifelife &and deathdeath
ofof sirsir ThomasThomas GreshamGresham? withwith thethe buildingbuilding ofof thethe RoyallRoyal Ex-ExchangeEx∣change
B
change?

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

changeExchange? oror thethe storystory ofof QueeneQueen ElenorEleanorElinor, withwith thethe rearingrearing ofof
LondonLondon bridgebridge vponupon wool-sackeswoolsacks?
Prol.PrologueProl.YouYou seemeseem toto beebe anan vnderstandingunderstanding manman: whatwhat
wouldwould youyou hauehave vsus dodo sirsir?
Cit.CitizenCit.WhyWhy presentpresent somethingsomething notablynotably inin honourhonour ofof thethe
CommonsCommons ofof thethe CittyCity.
Pro.ProloguePro.WhyWhy whatwhat doedo youyou saysay toto thethe lifelife andand deathdeath ofof fatfat
DrakeDrake, oror thethe repairingrepairing ofof Fleet-priuiesFleet priviesFleet-privies?
Cit.CitizenCit.II dodo notnot likelike thatthat, butbut II willwill hauehave aa CitizenCitizen, andand heehe
shallshall bebe ofof mymy owneown tradetrade.
Pro.ProloguePro.OhOhO youyou shouldshould hauehave toldtold vsus youryour mindemind aa monethmonth
sincesince, ourour playplay isis readyready toto beginbegin nownow.
Cit.CitizenCit.’Tis’Tis allall oneone forfor thatthat, II willwill hauehave aa GrocerGrocer, andand hehe shallshall
dodo admirableadmirable thingsthings.
Pro.ProloguePro.WhatWhat willwill youyou hauehave himhim dodo?
Cit.CitizenCit.MarryMarry II willwill hauehave himhim
WifeWife.HusbandHusband, husbandhusband.WifeWife belowbelow.
RafeRafe.PeacePeace mistressemistress.RafeRafe belowbelow.
WifeWife.HoldHold thythy peacepeace RafeRafe, II knowknow whatwhat II dodo II warrantwarrant tee’eetee.
HusbandHusband, husbandhusband.
Cit.CitizenCit.WhatWhat saystsayst thouthou cunnycunnyconey?
WifeWife.LetLet himhim killkill aa LyonLion withwith aa pestlepestle husbandhusband, letlet himhim
killkill aa LyonLion withwith aa pestlepestle.
Cit.CitizenCit.SoSo hehe shallshall, ll’eI’ll hauehave himhim killkill aa LyonLion withwith aa pestlepestle.
WifeWife.HusbandHusband, shallshall II comecome vpup husbandhusband?
Cit.CitizenCit.IAyI cunnycunnyconey. RafeRafe helpehelp youryour mistressemistress thisthis wayway: praypray gen-gentlemengen∣tlemengentlemen
tlemen
makemake herher aa littlelittle roomeroom, II praypray youyou sirsir lendlend meme youryour
handhand toto helpehelp vpup mymy wifewife: II thankethank youyou sirsir. SoSo.
WifeWife.ByBy youryour leaueleave GentlemenGentlemen allall, Im’eI’m somthingsomething trou-troublesometrou∣blesometroublesome
blesome,
Im’eI’m aa strãngerstrāgerstranger herehere, II waswas nerene’er atat oneone ofof thesethese playesplays
asas theythey saysay, beforebefore; butbut II shouldshould hauehave seeneseen IaneJanejane ShoreShore onceonce,
andaudand mymy husbandhusband hathhath promisedpromised meme anyany timetime thisthis Twelue-Twelue-monethTwelvemonth
moneth
toto carrycarry meme toto thethe BoldBold BeauchamsBeauchampsBeauchams, butbut inin truthtruth hehe
diddid notnot, II praypray youyou bearebear withwith meme.
Cit.CitizenCit.BoyBoy, letlet mymy wifewife andand II hauehave aa cupplecouple stoolesstools, andand
thenthen beginbegin, andand letlet thethe GrocerGrocer dodo rarerare thingsthings.
Prol.PrologueProl.ButBut sirsir, wewe hauehave neuernever aa boyboy toto playplay himhim, eueryevery
one

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oneone hathhath aa partpart alreadyalready.
WifeWife.HusbandHusband, husbandhusband, forfor GodsGod’s sakesake letlet RafeRafe playplay
himhim, beshrewbeshrew meeme ifif II dodo notnot thinkethink heehe willwill goego beyondbeyond
themthem allall.
Cit.CitizenCit.WellWell remembredremembered wifewife, comecome vpup RafeRafe: Il’eI’ll telltell youyou
GentlemenGentlemen, letlet themthem butbut lendlend himhim aa suitsuit ofof reparrellreparel, andand ne-necessariesne∣cessariesnecessaries
cessaries,
andand byby GadGad, ifif anyany ofof themthem allall blowblow windewind inin thethe
tailetail onon himhim, Il’eI’ll bebe hang’dhanged.
WifeWife.II praypray youyou youthyouth letlet himhim hauehave aa suitsuit ofof reparrellreparel,
Il’eI’ll bebe swornesworn GentlemenGentlemen, mymy husbandhusband telstells youyou truetrue, heehe
willwill actact youyou sometimessometimes atat ourour househouse, thatthat allall thethe neighboursneighbours
crycry outout onon himhim: heehe willwill fetchfetch youyou vpup aa couragingcouraging partpart soso
inin thethe garretgarret, thatthat wewe areare allall asas feardfeared II warrantwarrant youyou, thatthat weewe
quakequake againeagain: wee’lwe’ll fearefear ourour chlidrenchildrenchlidrenchildren withwith himhim ifif theythey beebe
neuernever soso vn-rulyunruly, dodo butbut crycry, RafeRafe comescomes, RafeRafe comescomes toto themthem,
andand they’lthey’ll bebe asas quyetquiet asas LambesLambs. HoldHold vpup thythy headhead RafeRafe,
shewshow thethe GentlemenGentlemen whatwhat thouthou canstcanst doedo, speakespeak aa huf-huffinghuf∣finghuffing
fing
partpart, II warrantwarrant youyou thethe GentlemenGentlemen willwill acceptaccept ofof itit.
Cit.CitizenCit.DoDo RafeRafe, dodo.
RafeRafe.ByBy heauenheaven me thinkesmethinks itit werewere anan easieeasy leapleap
ToTo pluckepluck brightbright honourhonour fromfrom thethe pale-fac’dpale-faced MooneMoon,
OrOr diuedive intointo thethe bottomebottom ofof thethe seasea,
WhereWhere neuernever fathamefathom lineline touch’ttouched anyany groundground,
AndAnd pluckepluck vpup drowneddrowned honorhonour fromfrom thethe lakelake ofof hellhell.
Cit.CitizenCit.HowHow saysay youyou GentlemenGentlemen, isis itit notnot asas II toldtold youyou?
WifeWife.NayNay GentlemenGentlemen, heehe hathhath playdplayed beforebefore, mymy husbandhusband
sayessays, MusidorusMucedorusMusidorus beforebefore thethe WardensWardens ofof ourour CompanyCompany.
Cit.CitizenCit.IAyay, andand heehe shouldshould hauehave playdplayed IeronimoJeronimojeronimo withwith aa Shooe-Shooe∣makerShoemaker
maker
forfor aa wagerwager.
Pro.ProloguePro.HeHe shallshall hauehave aa suitesuit ofof apparrellapparel ifif hehe willwill gogo inin.
Cit.CitizenCit.InIn RafeRafe, inin RafeRafe, andand setset outout thethe GroceryGrocery inin theirtheir kindekind,
ifif thouthou lou’stlov’st meme.
WifeWife.II warrantwarrant ourour RafeRafe willwill lookelook finelyfinely whenwhen hee’she’s
drestdressed.
Pro.ProloguePro.ButBut whatwhat willwill youyou hauehave itit cal’dcalled?
Cit.CitizenCit.TheThe GrocersGrocer’sgrocer’s honourhonour.
Pro.ProloguePro.Me thinksMethinksmethinks TheThe KnightKnight ofof thethe burningburning PestlePestle werewere betterbetter.
B2
Wife.

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

Wif.WifeWif.Il’eI’ll bebe swornsworn husbandhusband, thatsthat’s asas goodgood aa namename asas cancan bebe.
Cit.CitizenCit.LetLet itit bebe soso, beginbegin, beginbegin, mymy wifewife andand II wilwill sitsit downedown.
Pro.ProloguePro.II praypray youyou dodo.
Cit.CitizenCit.WhatWhat statelystately mucsikemusic hauehave youyou? youyou hauehave shawmesshawms.
Pro.ProloguePro.ShawnesShawmsshawms? nono.
Cit.CitizenCit.NoNo? Im’eI’m aa thiefethief ifif mymy mindemind diddid notnot giuegive meme soso. RafeRafe
playesplays aa statelystately partpart, andand hehe mustmust needsneeds hauehave shawnesshawms: Il’eI’ll
bebe atat thethe chargecharge ofof themthem my selfemyself, ratherrather thenthanthen wee’lwe’ll bebe with-withoutwith∣outwithout
out
themthem.Pro.ProloguePro.SoSo youyou areare likelike toto bebe.
Cit.CitizenCit.WhyWhy andand soso II willwill bebe: ther’sthere’s twotwo shillingsshillings, let’slet’s hauehave
thethe waitswaits ofof South-warkeSouthwark, theythey areare asas rarerare fellowesfellows asas anyany
areare inin EnglandEngland; andand thatthat willwill fetchfetch themthem allall or’eo’er thethe waterwater
withwith aa vengeancevengeance, asas ifif theythey werewere madmad.
Pro.ProloguePro.YouYou shallshall hauehave themthem: willwill youyou sitsit downedown thenthen?
Cit.CitizenCit.IAyay, comecome wifewife.
WifeWife.SitSit youyou merrymerry allall GentlemenGentlemen, Im’eI’m boldbold toto sitsit a-amongsta∣mongstamongst
mongst
youyou forfor mymy easeease.
Pro.ProloguePro.FromFrom allall that’sthat’s neerenear thethe CourtCourt, fromfrom allall that’sthat’s greatgreat.
WithinWithin thethe compassecompass ofof thethe Citty-wallesCity wallsCity-walls,
WeWe nownow hauehave broughtbrought ourour SceaneScene: flyefly farrefar fromfrom hencehence
AllAll priuateprivate taxestaxes, immodestimmodest phrasesphrases,
What ereWhate’erwhate’er maymay butbut shewshow likelike viciousvicious:
ForFor wickedwicked mirthmirth neuernever truetrue pleasurepleasure bringsbrings,
ButBut honesthonest mindsminds areare pleas’dpleased withwith honesthonest thingsthings.
ThusThus muchmuch forfor thatthat wewe dodo: butbut forfor RafesRafe’s partpart
YouYou mustmust answereanswer forfor your selfeyourself.
Cit.CitizenCit.TakeTake youyou nono carecare forfor RafeRafe, hee’lhe’ll dischargedischarge himselfehimself II
warrantwarrant youyou.
WifeWife.I faithI’faithi’faith GentlemenGentlemen Il’eI’ll giuegive mymy wordword forfor RafeRafe.


ActusActus primiprimi, ScoenaScoena primaprima.

EnterEnter MarchantMerchant, andand IasperJasperjasper hishis PrenticePrentice.

March.MerchantMarch.SirrahSirrah, Il’eI’ll makemake youyou knowknow youyou areare mymy PrenticePrentice,
AndAnd whomwhom mymy charitablecharitable louelove redeem’dredeemed
EuenEven fromfrom thethe fallfall ofof fortunefortune, gauegave theethee heateheat
And

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AndAnd growthgrowth, toto bebe whatwhat nownow thouthou artart, newnew castcast theethee,
AddingAdding thethe trusttrust ofof allall II hauehave atat homehome,
InIn forrenforeign StaplesStaples, oror vponupon thethe SeaSea
ToTo thythy directiondirection, ti’detied thethe goodgood opinionsopinions
BothBoth ofof my selfemyself andand friendsfriends toto thythy endeauoursendeavours,
SoSo fairefair werewere thythy beginningsbeginnings, butbut withwith thesethese,
AsAs II rememberremember, youyou hadhad neuernever chargecharge,
ToTo louelove youryour MaistersMaster’smaster’s daughterdaughter, andand eueneven thenthen,
WhenWhen II hadhad foundfound aa wealthywealthy husbandhusband forfor herher,
II taketake itit, sirsir, youyou hadhad notnot; butbut how euerhowever,
I’leI’ll breakebreak thethe neckeneck ofof thatthat commissioncommission,
AndAnd makemake youyou knowknow youyou areare butbut aa MerchantsMerchant’s FactorFactor.
Iasp.JasperIasp.SirSir, II dodo liberallyliberally confesseconfess II amam yoursyours,
BoundBound, bothboth byby louelove andand dutyduty, toto youryour seruiceservice;
InIn whichwhich, mymy labourlabour hathhath benebeen allall mymy profitprofit;
II hauehave notnot lostlost inin bargainebargain, nornor delighteddelighted
ToTo wearewear youryour honesthonest gainesgains vponupon mymy backeback,
NorNor hauehave II giuengiven aa pencionpension toto mymy bloudblood,
OrOr lauishlylavishly inin playplay consum’dconsumed youryour stockestock.
TheseThese, andand thethe miseriesmiseries thatthat dodo attendattend themthem,
II daredare, withwith innocenceinnocence, proclaimeproclaim areare strangersstrangers
ToTo allall mymy temperatetemperate actionsactions; forfor youryour daughterdaughter,
IfIf therethere bebe anyany louelove, toto mymy deseruingsdeservings,
BorneBorne byby herher vertuousvirtuous selfeself, II cannotcannot stopstop itit?
NorNor, amam II ableable toto refrainerefrain herher wisheswishes.
She’sShe’s priuateprivate toto her selfeherself andand bestbest ofof knowledgeknowledge,
WhomWhom she’leshe’ll makemake soso happyhappy asas toto sighsigh forfor.
BesidesBesides, II cannotcannot thinkethink youyou meanemean toto matchmatch herher,
VntoUnto aa felowfellow ofof soso lamelame aa presencepresence,
OneOne thatthat hathhath littlelittle leftleft ofof NatureNature inin himhim.
Mar.MerchantMar.’Tis’Tis veryvery wellwell sirsir, II cancan telltell youryour wisedomewisdom
HowHow allall thisthis shallshall beebe cur’dcured.Iasp.JasperIasp.YourYour carecare becomesbecomes youyou.
March.MerchantMarch.AndAnd thusthus itit mustmust bebe sirsir, II heerehere dischargedischarge youyou
MyMy househouse andand seruiceservice, taketake youryour libertyliberty,
AndAnd whenwhen II wantwant aa sonneson I’leI’ll sendsend forfor youyou.ExitExit:
Iasp.JasperIasp.TheseThese bebe thethe fairefair rewardsrewards ofof themthem thatthat louelove.
OO youyou thatthat liuelive inin freedomefreedom neuernever proueprove
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TheThe trauelltravel ofof aa mindmind ledled byby desiredesire.EnterEnter LuceLuce.
Luce.Luce.WhyWhy, howhow nownow friendfriend, struckstruck withwith mymy fathersfather’s thun-thunderthun∣derthunder(der?

Iasp.JasperIasp.
StruckeStruck andand struckestruck deaddead vnlesseunless thethe remedyremedy
BeBe fullfull ofof speedespeed andand vertuevirtue; II amam nownow,
WhatWhat II expectedexpected longlong, nono moremore youryour fathersfather’sfathers.
Luce.Luce.ButBut minemine.Iasp.JasperIasp.ButBut yoursyours, andand onelyonly yoursyours II amam,
That’sThat’s allall II hauehave toto keepekeep meeme fromfrom thethe StatuteStatute,
YouYou daredare bebe constantconstant stillstill.Luce.Luce.OO fearefear meme notnot,
InIn thisthis II daredare bebe betterbetter thenthan aa womanwoman.
NorNor shallshall hishis angeranger, nornor hishis offersoffers mouemove meme,
WereWere theythey bothboth equallequal toto aa PrincesPrince’sPRINCE’s powerpower.
Iasp.JasperIasp.YouYou knowknow mymy riuallrival?Luce.Luce.YesYes andand louelove himhim deerlydearlydear
EuenEven asas II louelove anan agueague, oror foulefoul weatherweather,
II pretheeprithee IasperJasperjasper fearefear himhim notnot.Iasp.JasperIasp.OO nono,
II dodo notnot meanemean toto dodo himhim soso muchmuch kindnessekindness,
ButBut toto ourour owneown desiresdesires, youyou knowknow thethe plotplot
WeWe bothboth agreedagreed onon.Luce.Luce.YesYes, andand willwill performeperform
MyMy partpart exactlyexactly.Iasp.JasperIasp.II desiredesire nono moremore,
Fare-wellFarewellfarewell, andand keepekeep mymy heartheart, ’tis’tis yoursyours.Luce.Luce.II taketake itit,
HeHe mustmust dodo miraclesmiracles makesmakes meme forsakeforsake itit.ExeuntExeunt.
Cittiz.CitizenCittiz.FyeFie vponupon am’emam littlelittle infidelsinfidels, whatwhat aa mattersmatter’s herehere
nownow? wellwell, I’leI’ll bebe hang’dhanged forfor aa halfe-pennyhalfpenny, ifif therethere bebe notnot
somesome abominationabomination knaueryknavery inin thisthis PlayPlay, wellwell, letlet’emletlet ’em ’em’em lookelook
tootto’t, RafeRafe mustmust comecome, andand ifif therethere bebe anyany trickstricks a brewingaa-brewinga brewing brewing,
WifeWife.LetLet’emLetLet ’em ’em’em brewbrew andand bakebake tootoo husbandhusband, aa’a GodsGod’s namename,
RafeRafe willwill findfind allall outout II warrantwarrant youyou, andand theythey werewere olderolder thenthan
theythey areare, II praypray mymy prettypretty youthyouth isis RafeRafe readyready.
BoyBoy.HeHe willwill bebe presentlypresently.
WifeWife.NowNow II praypray youyou makemake mymy commendationscommendations vntounto
himhim, andand withallwithal carrycarry himhim thisthis stickestick ofof LicorasLiquoriceliquorice, telltell himhim hishis
MistresseMistress sentsent itit himhim, andand bidbid himhim bitebite aa peecepiece, ’twill’twill openopen hishis
pipespipes thethe betterbetter, saysay.
EnterEnter MarchantMerchant, andand MaisterMaster HumferyHumphreyHumfery.
Mar.MerchantMar.ComeCome sirsir, shee’sshe’s yoursyours, vponupon mymy faithfaith she’sshe’s yoursyours
YouYou hauehave mymy handhand, forfor otherother idleidle letslets
BetweeneBetween youryour hopeshopes andand herher, thusthus, withwith aa windwind
TheyThey areare scatteredscattered andand nono moremore: mymy wantonwanton PrenticePrentice,
That

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

ThatThat likelike aa bladderbladder, blewblew himselfehimself withwith louelove,
II hauehave letlet outout, andand sentsent himhim toto discouerdiscover
NewNew MaistersMasters yetyet vnknowneunknown.Humf.HumphreyHumf.II thankethank youyou sirsir,
IndeedIndeed II thankethank youyou sirsir, andand ereere II stirstir
ItIt shallshall beebe knowneknown, how euerhowever youyou dodo deemedeem,
II amam ofof gentlegentle bloudblood andand gentlegentle seemeseem.
March.MerchantMarch.OO sirsir, II knowknow itit certainecertain.Humf.HumphreyHumf.SirSir mymy friendfriend,
AlthoughAlthough, asas WritersWriters saysay, allall thingsthings hauehave endend,
AndAnd thatthat wewe callcall aa puddingpudding, hathhath hishis twotwo
OOOh letlet itit notnot seemeseem strangestrange II praypray toto youyou,
IfIf inin thisthis bloudybloody similesimile, II putput
MyMy louelove, moremore endlesseendless, thenthanthen frailefrail thingsthings oror gutgut.
WifeWife.HusbandHusband, II pretheeprithee sweetesweet lambelamb telltell meme oneone thingthing,
ButBut telltell meeme truelytruly: staystay youthsyouths II beseechbeseech youyou, tilltill II questionquestion
mymy husbandhusband.Citiz.CitizenCitiz.WhatWhat isis itit mousemouse?
WifeWife.SirrahSirrah, didstdidst thouthou euerever seesee aa prettierprettier childchild? howhow itit
behauesbehaves it selfeitself, II warrantwarrant yeeye, andand speakesspeaks, andand lookeslooks, andand
peartspertspearts vpup thethe headhead? II praypray youyou brotherbrother, withwith youryour fauorfavour, werewere
youyou neuernever nonenone ofof M.MasterM. MonkestersMonkester’s schollarsscholars?
Cit.CitizenCit.ChickenChicken, II pretheeprithee heartelyheartily containecontain thy selfethyself, thethe
childerchilderchildren areare prettypretty childerchilderchildren, butbut whenwhen RafeRafe comescomes, LambeLamb.
WifeWife.IAyI whenwhen RafeRafe comescomes connycunnyconey; wellwell mymy youthyouth, youyou maymay (proceedproceed
Mar.MerchantMar.WelWell sirsir, youyou knowknow mymy louelove, andand restrest, II hopehope,
Assur’dAssured ofof mymy consentconsent, getget butbut mymy daughtersdaughter’sdaughters,
AndAnd wedwed herher whenwhen youyou pleaseplease; youyou mustmust bebe boldbold,
AndAnd clapclap inin closeclose vntounto herher, comecome, II knowknow
YouYou hauehave languagelanguage goodgood enoughenough toto winwin aa wenchwench.
WifeWife.AA whoresonwhoreson tyranttyrant hash’ashas benbeen anan oldold stringerstringer in’sin’s daiesdays II
warrantwarrant himhim.Humf.HumphreyHumf.II taketake youryour gentlegentle offeroffer andand withallwithal
YeeldYield louelove againeagain forfor louelove reciprocallreciprocal.EnterEnter LuceLuce.
Mar.MerchantMar.WhatWhat LuceLuce withinwithin therethere.Lu.LuceLu.Cal’dCalled youyou sirsir?
Mar.MerchantMar.II diddid.
GiueGive entertainemententertainment toto thisthis GentlemanGentleman
AndAnd seesee youyou beebe notnot frowardfroward: toto herher sirsir,
MyMy presencepresence willwill butbut beebe anan eye-soareeyesore toto youyou.ExitExit.
Humf.HumphreyHumf.FaireFair MistresseMistress LuceLuce, howhow dodo youyou, areare youyou wellwell?
GiueGive meme youryour handhand andand thenthen II praypray youyou telltell,
HowHow dothdoth youryour littlelittle sistersister, andand youryour brotherbrother?
And


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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

AndAnd whetherwhether youyou louelove meme oror anyany otherother.
Luce.Luce.SirSir, thesethese areare quickelyquickly answeredanswered.Humf.HumphreyHumf.SoSo theythey (areare.
WhereWhere womenwomen areare notnot cruelcruel: butbut howhow farrefar
IsIs itit nownow distantdistant fromfrom thisthis placeplace wewe areare inin,
VntoUnto thatthat blessedblessed placeplace youryour fathersfather’s warrenwarren.
Luce.Luce.WhatWhat makesmakes youyou thinkethink ofof thatthat sirsir?
Humf.HumphreyHumf.EuenEveneven thatthat faceface
ForFor stealingstealing RabbetsRabbitsrabbits whilomewhilom inin thatthat placeplace,
GodGod CupidCupid, oror thethe KeeperKeeper, II knowknow notnot whetherwhether
VntoUnto mymy costcost andand chargescharges broughtbrought youyou thitherthither,
AndAnd therethere beganbegan.Luce.Luce.YourYour gamegame sirsir.Humf.HumphreyHumf.LetLet nono gamegame,
OrOr any thinganyanythingany thing thing thatthat tendethtendeth toto thethe samesame.
BeeBebe euermoreevermore remembredremembered, thouthou fairefair killerkiller
ForFor whomwhom II satesat meme downedown andand brakebrakebroke mymy TillerTiller.
WifeWife.There’sThere’s aa kindkind GentlemanGentleman, II warrantwarrant youyou, whenwhen
willwill youyou dodo asas muchmuch forfor meme GeorgeGeorge?
Luce.Luce.BeshrewBeshrew meme sirsir, II amam sorrysorry forfor youryour losseslosses,
ButBut asas thethe prouerbeproverb saiessays, II cannotcannot crycry,
II wouldwould youyou hadhad notnot seeneseen meme.Humf.HumphreyHumf.SoSo wouldwould II.
VnlesseUnless youyou hadhad moremore mawmaw toto dodo meme goodgood.
Luce.Luce.WhyWhy, cannotcannot thisthis strangestrange passionpassion bebe withstoodwithstood,
SendSend forfor aa ConstableConstable andand raiseraise thethe TowneTown.
Humf.HumphreyHumf.OO nono, mymy valiantvaliant louelove willwill batterbatter downedown
MillionsMillions ofof ConstablesConstables, andand putput toto flightflight,
EuenEven thatthat greatgreat watchwatch ofof Mid-summerMidsummer dayday atat nightnight.
Luce.Luce.BeshrewBeshrew meme sirsir, ’twere’twere goodgood II yeeldedyielded thenthen,
WeakeWeak womenwomen cannotcannot hopehope, wherewhere valiantvaliant menmen
HaueHave nono resistanceresistance.Humf.HumphreyHumf.YeeldYield thenthen, II amam fullfull
OfOf pittypity, thoughthough II saysay itit, andand cancan pullpull
OutOut ofof mymy pocketpocket, thusthus, aa pairepair ofof glouesgloves,
LookeLook LucyLucy, lookelook, thethe dogsdog’s toothtooth, nornor thethe DouesDoves
AreAre notnot soso whitewhite asas thesethese; andand sweetesweet theythey beebe,
AndAnd whiptwhipped aboutabout withwith silkesilk, asas youyou maymay seesee.
IfIf youyou desiredesire thethe priceprice, suteshootsuit fromfrom youryour eieeye,
AA beamebeam toto thisthis placeplace, andand youyou shallshall espieespy
F.F. S.S. whichwhich isis toto saysay, mymy sweetestsweetest honyhoney,
TheyThey costcost meme threethree andand twotwo pencepence, oror nono monymoney.
Luce.

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

Luce.Luce.WellWell sirsir, II taketake themthem kindlykindly, andand II thankethank youyou,
WhatWhat wouldwould youyou moremore?Hum.HumphreyHum.NothingNothing.Luce.Luce.WhyWhy thenthen (fare-wellfarewell.
Humf.HumphreyHumf.NorNor soso, nornor soso, forfor LadyLady II mustmust telltell,
BeforeBefore wewe partpart, forfor whatwhat wewe metmet togethertogether,
GodGod grantgrant meme timetime, andand patiencepatience, andand fairefair weatherweather.
Luce.Luce.SpeakeSpeak andand declaredeclare youryour mindemind inin termesterms soso briefebrief.
Humf.HumphreyHumf.II shallshall, thenthenthan firstfirst andand formostforemost forfor relieferelief
II callcall toto youyou, II ifif thatthat youyou cancan affoordafford itit,
II carecare notnot atat whatwhat priceprice, forfor onon mymy wordword, itit
ShallShall bebe repaidrepaid againeagain, althoughalthough itit costcost meme
MoreMore thenthan I’leI’ll speakespeak ofof nownow, forfor louelove hathhath tosttossed meme,
InIn furiousfurious blanketblanket likelike aa TennisTennis ballball,
AndAnd nownow II riserise aloftaloft, andand nownow II fallfall.
Luce.Luce.AlasAlas goodgood GentlemanGentleman, alasalas thethe dayday.
Humf.HumphreyHumf.II thankethank youyou hartelyheartily, andand asas II saysay,
ThusThus dodo II stillstill continuecontinue withoutwithout restrest,
I’th’I’th’ morningmorning likelike aa manman, atat nightnight aa beastbeast,
RoaringRoaring andand bellowingbellowing mynemine owneown disquietdisquiet,
ThatThat muchmuch II fearefear, forsakingforsaking ofof mymy dietdiet,
WillWill bringbring meme presentlypresently toto thatthat quandaryquandary,
II shallshall bidbid allall adeiwadieu:Luce.Luce.NowNow byby S.SaintS. MaryMaryMarry
ThatThat werewere greatgreat pittypity.Hum.HumphreyHum.SoSo itit werewere beshrewbeshrew meme,
ThenThen easeease meme lustylusty LuceLuce, andand pittypity shewshow meme.
Luce.Luce.WhyWhy sirsir, youyou knowknow mymy willwill isis nothingnothing worthworth
WithoutWithout mymy fathersfather’s grantgrant, getget hishis consentconsent,
AndAnd thenthenthan youyou maymay withwith assuranceassurance trytry meme.
Humf.HumphreyHumf.TheThe WorshipfullWorshipful youryour siresire willwill notnot denydeny meme.
ForFor II hauehave asktasked himhim, andand hehe hathhath repli’dreplied,
SweeteSweet MaisterMaster HumfreyHumphrey, LuceLuce shallshall bebe thythy BrideBride.
Luce.Luce.SweeteSweet MaisterMaster HumfreyHumphrey thenthen II amam contentcontent.
Humf.HumphreyHumf.AndAnd soso amam II intruthin truthintruth.Luce.Luce.YetYet taketake meme withwith youyou,
ThereThere isis anotheranother clauseclause mustmust bebe annextannexed,
AndAnd thisthis itit isis, II sworeswore andand willwill performeperform itit;
NoNo manman shallshall euerever ioyjoy meme asas hishis wifewife
ButBut hehe thatthat stolestole meme hencehence, ifif youyou daredare venterventure
II amam yoursyours; youyou needneed notnot fearefear, mymy fatherfather louesloves youyou,
IfIf notnot farewellfarewell forfor euerever.Humf.HumphreyHumf.StayStay NimphNymph, staiestay,
C
I

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

II hauehave aa doubledouble GeldingGelding culoredcoloured baybay,
SprungSprung byby hishis fatherfather fromfrom BarbarianBarbarian kindkind,
AnotherAnother forfor my selfemyself, thoughthough somewhatsomewhat blindblind,
YetYet truetrue asas trustytrusty treetree.Luce.Luce.II amam satisfiedsatisfied,
AndAnd soso II giuegive mymy handhand, ourour coursecourse mustmust lielie
ThroughThrough WalthamWaltham ForrestForest, wherewhere II hauehave aa friendfriend
WillWill entertaineentertain vsus, soso fare-wellfarewell sirsir HumfreyHumphrey,ExitExit LuceLuce.
AndAnd thinkethink vponupon youryour businessebusiness.Humf.HumphreyHumf.ThoughThough II diedie,
II amam resolu’dresolved toto venterventure lifelife andand limlimb,
ForFor oneone soso yongyoung, soso fairefair, soso kindkind, soso trimtrim.ExitExit HumfreyHumphrey.
WifeWife.ByBy mymy faithfaith andand trothtroth GeorgeGeorge, andand asas II amam vertu-vertuousvertu∣ousvirtuous
ous,
itit isis e’nee’en thethe kindestkindest yongyoung manman thatthat euerever trodtrod onon shooeshoe
leatherleather, wellwell, gogo thythy waiesways ifif thouthou hasthast herher notnot, ’tis’tis notnot thythy
faultfault ’faith’faith.
Cit.CitizenCit.II pretheeprithee mousemouse bebe patientpatient, a’a shallshall hauehave herher, oror i’lei’ll
makemake some’emsome ’em smoakesmoke for’tfor’t.
WifeWife.That’sThat’s mymy goodgood lambelamb GeorgeGeorge, fiefie, thisthis stinkingstinking
TobaccoTobacco kilskills menmen, wouldwould therethere werewere nonenone inin EnglandEngland, nownow II
praypray GentlemenGentlemen, whatwhat goodgood doesdoes thisthis stinkingstinking TobaccoTobacco? dodo
youyou nothingnothing, II warrantwarrant youyou makemake chimnieschimneys ao’a youryour facesfaces: oooh
husbandhusband, husbandhusband, nownow, nownow, there’sthere’s RafeRafe, there’sthere’s RafeRafe.
EnterEnter RafeRafe likelike aa GrocerGrocerin’sGrocerGrocerin’s in’sin’s shopshop, withwith twotwo PrenticesPrentices
ReadingReading PalmerinPalmerin ofof EnglandEngland.

Cit.CitizenCit.PeacePeace foolefool, letlet RafeRafe alonealone, harkehark youyou RafeRafe; doedo notnot
strainestrain your selfeyourself tootoo muchmuch atat thethe firstfirst, peacepeace, beginbegin RafeRafe.
RafeRafe.ThenThen PalmerinPalmerin andand TrineusTrineus snatchingsnatching theirtheir LauncesLances
fromfrom theirtheir DwarsesDwarfesDwarsesDwarfsdwarfs, andand claspingclasping theirtheir HelmetsHelmets galloptgalloped a-amainea∣maineamain
maine
afterafter thethe GyantGiant, andand PalmerinPalmerin hauinghaving gottengotten aa sightsight ofof
himhim, camecame postingposting amaineamain, sayingsaying: StayStay trayteroustraitorous thiefethief, forfor
thouthou maistmayst notnot soso carrycarry awayaway herher, thatthat isis worthworth thethe greatestgreatest
LordLord inin thethe worldworld, andand withwith thesethese wordswords gauegave himhim aa blowblow onon
thethe shouldershoulder, thatthat hehe stroakestroke himhim besidesbesides hishis ElephantElephant, andand
TrineusTrineus commingcoming toto thethe KnightKnight thatthat hadhad AgricolaAgricola behindbehind
himhim, setset himhim soonesoon besidesbesides hishis horsehorse, withwith hishis neckeneck brokenbroken
inin thethe fallfall, soso thatthat thethe PrincessePrincess gettinggetting outout ofof thethe throngethrong,
betweenebetween ioyjoy andand griefegrief saidsaid; allall happyhappy KnightKnight, thethe mirroutmirrourmirroutmirror
ofof allall suchsuch asas followfollow ArmesArms, nownow maymay II beebe wellwell assuredassured ofof
the

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

thethe louelove thouthou bearestbearest meme, II wonderwonder whywhy thethe KingsKings doedo notnot
raiseraise anan armyarmy ofof foureteenefourteen oror fifteenefifteen hundredhundred thousandthousand
menmen, asas bigbig asas thethe ArmyArmy thatthat thethe PrincePrince ofof PortigoPortigo broughtbrought
againstagainst RociclerRosiclerRocicler, &and destroydestroy thesethese GiantsGiants, theythey dodo muchmuch hurthurt
toto wandringwand’ringwandering DamselsDamsels, thatthat gogo inin questquest ofof theirtheir KnightsKnights.
WifeWife.FaithFaith husbandhusband andand RafeRafe saiessays truetrue, forfor theythey saysay thethe
KingKing ofof PortugallPortugal cannotcannot sitsit atat hishis meatemeat, butbut thethe GiantsGiants &and
thethe EttinselfinsEttinselfinsEttins willwill comecome andand snatchsnatch itit fromfrom himhim,
Cit.CitizenCit.HoldHold thythy tonguetongue, onon RafeRafe.
RafeRafe.AndAnd certainelycertainly thosethose KnightsKnights areare muchmuch toto bebe com-commendedcom∣mendedcommended
mended,
whowho neglectingneglecting theirtheir possessionspossessions, wanderwander withwith aa
SquireSquire andand aa DwarfeDwarf throughthrough thethe DesartsDeserts toto relieuerelieve poorepoor
LadiesLadies.
VVifeWife.IAyI byby mymy faithfaith areare theythey RafeRafe, letlet ’em’em saysay whatwhat theythey
willwill, theythey areare indeedindeed, ourour KnightsKnights neglectneglect theirtheir possessionspossessions
wellwell enoughenough, butbut theythey dodo notnot thethe restrest.
RafeRafe.ThereThere areare nono suchsuch courteouscourteous andand fairefair well spokenwellwell-spokenwell spoken spoken
KnightsKnights inin thisthis ageage, theythey willwill callcall oneone thethe sonneson ofof aa whorewhore,
thatthat PalmerinPalmerin ofof EnglandEngland, wouldwould hauehave calledcalled fairefair sirsir; andand
oneone thatthat RosiclerRosicler wouldwould hauehave cal’dcalled rightright beauteousbeauteous DamsellDamsel,
theythey willwill callcall dam’ddamned bitchbitch.
VVifeWife.I’leI’ll beswornebe sworn willwill theythey RafeRafe, theythey hauehave cal’dcalled meeme
soso anan hundredhundred timestimes aboutabout aa scuruyscurvy pipepipe ofof TobaccoTobacco.
RafeRafe.ButBut whatwhat brauebrave spiritspirit couldcould bebe contentcontent toto sitsit inin hishis
shopshop withwith aa flappetflappet ofof woodwood andand aa blewblue apronapron beforebefore himhim
sellingselling MethridatumMithridatummithridate andand DragonsDragon’sdragon’s waterwater toto visitedvisited houseshouses, thatthat
mightmight pursuepursue featsfeats ofof ArmesArms, &and throughthrough hishis noblenoble atchieu-atchieumentsatchieu∣mentsachievements
ments
procureprocure suchsuch aa famousfamous historyhistory toto bebe writtenwritten ofof hishis
heroickeheroic prowesseprowess.
Cit.CitizenCit.WellWell saidsaid RafeRafe, somesome moremore ofof thosethose wordswords RafeRafe.
VVifeWife.TheyThey gogo finelyfinely byby mymy trothtroth.
RafeRafe.WhyWhy shouldshould notnot II thenthen pursuepursue thisthis coursecourse, bothboth
forfor thethe creditcredit ofof my selfemyself andand ourour CompanyCompany, forfor amongstamongst
allall thethe worthyworthy bookesbooks ofof AtchieuementsAchievements II doedo notnot callcall
toto mindemind thatthat II yetyet readread ofof aa GrocerGrocer ErrantErrant, II willwill bebe thethe
saidsaid KnightKnight, hauehave youyou heardheard ofof anyany, thatthat hathhath wandredwandered
vnfurnishedunfurnished ofof hishis SquireSquire andand DwarfeDwarf, mymy elderelder PrenticePrentice
C2
Tim

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

TimTim shallshall bebe mymy trustytrusty SquireSquire, andand littlelittle GeorgeGeorge mymy DwarfeDwarf,
HenceHence mymy blewblue AporneApronapron, yetyet inin remembranceremembrance ofof mymy formerformer
TradeTrade, vponupon mymy shiledshieldshield shallshall bebe purtraideportrayed, aa burningburning PestlePestle,
andand II willwill bebe cal’dcalled thethe KnightKnight otho’th’ burningburning PestlePestle.
WifeWife.NayNay, II daredare sweareswear thouthou wiltwilt notnot forgetforget thythy oldold
TradeTrade, thouthou wertwert euerever meekemeek.RafeRafe.Tim.Tim.
Tim.Tim.AnonAnon.
RafeRafe.MyMy belouedbeloved SquireSquire, &and GeorgeGeorge mymy DwarfeDwarf, II chargecharge
youyou thatthat fromfrom hence-forthhenceforth youyou neuernever callcall meme byby anyany otherother
namename, butbut thethe RightRight CourteousCourteous andand ValiantValiant KnightKnight ofof thethe bur-burningbur∣ningburning
ning
PestlePestle
, andand thatthat youyou neuernever callcall anyany femalefemale byby thethe namename ofof
aa womanwoman oror wenchwench, butbut fairefair LadieLady, ifif sheshe hauehave herher desiresdesires,
ifif notnot distresseddistressed DamsellDamsel, thatthat youyou callcall allall ForrestsForests &and HeathsHeaths
DesartsDeserts, andand allall horseshorseshorses’ PalfriesPalfreys.
WifeWife.ThisThis isis veryvery finefine, faithfaith, dodo thethe GentlemenGentlemen likelike RafeRafe,
thinkethink youyou, husbandhusband?
Cittiz.CitizenCittiz.IAyay, II warrantwarrant theethee, thethe PlaiersPlayers wouldwould giuegive allall thethe
shooesshoes inin theirtheir shopshop forfor himhim.
RafeRafe.MyMy belouedbeloved SquireSquire TimTim, standstand outout, admitadmit thisthis werewere
aa DesartDesert, andand ouerover itit aa KnightKnight erranterrant prickingpricking, andand II shouldshould
bidbid youyou inquireinquire ofof hishis intentsintents, whatwhat wouldwould youyou saysay?
Tim.Tim.SirSir, mymy MaisterMaster sentsent meme, toto knowknow whetherwhether youryouyouryou areare
ridingriding?
RafeRafe.NoNo, thusthus; fairefair sirsir, thethe RightRight CourteousCourteous andand ValiantValiant
KnightKnight ofof thethe burningburning PestlePestle
, commandedcommanded meme toto enquireinquire, vponupon
whatwhat aduentureadventure youryouyouryou areare boundbound, whetherwhether toto relieuerelieve somesome di-distresseddi∣stresseddistressed
stressed
DamselsDamsels, oror otherwiseotherwise.
Cit.CitizenCit.WhoresomeWhoresonwhoreson blocke-headblockhead cannotcannot rememberremember.
WifeWife.I’faithI’faith, &and RafeRafe toldtold himhim on’ton’t beforebefore, allall thethe GentlemenGentlemen
heardheard himhim, diddid hehe notnot GentlemenGentlemen, diddid notnot RafeRafe teltell himhim on’ton’t?
GeorgeGeorge.RightRight CourteousCourteous andand ValiantValiant KnightKnight ofof thethe burningburning
PestlePestle
, herehere isis aa distresseddistressed DamsellDamsel, toto hauehave aa halfe penny-halfehalfpennyworthhalf
worth penny-worth pennyworth
ofof pepperpepper.
WifeWife.That’sThat’s aa goodgood boyboy, seesee, thethe littlelittle boyboy cancan hithit itit, byby
mymy trothtroth it’sit’s aa finefine childchild.
RafeRafe.RelieueRelieve herher withwith allall courteouscourteous languagelanguage, nownow
shutshut vpup shoppeshop, nono moremore mymy PrenticePrentice, butbut mymy trustytrusty
Squire

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

SquireSquire andand DwarfeDwarf, II mustmust bespeakbebebespeak mymy shieldshield andand arming-arming∣pestlearmingarming∣pestle
pestlepestle.
Cit.CitizenCit.GoGo thythy waiesways RafeRafe, asas Im’eI’m aa truetrue manman, thouthou artart thethe
bestbest onon ’em’em allall.
WifeWife.RafeRafe, RafeRafe.
RafeRafe.WhatWhat saysay youyou mistressemistress?
WifeWife.II pre’theeprithee comecome againeagain quicklyquickly sweetsweet RafeRafe.
RafeRafe.ByBy andand byby.ExitExit RafeRafe.
EnterEnter IasperJasperjasper, andand hishis mothermother mistressemistress Merri-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought.
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.GiueGive theethee mymy blessingblessing? NoNo, Il’eI’ll ner’ene’er giuegive
theethee mymy blessingblessing, Il’eI’ll seesee theethee hang’dhanged firstfirst; itit shallshall ner’ene’er beebe
saidsaid II gauegave theethee mymy blessingblessing, th’artth’artthou’rt thythy fathersfather’sfathers owneown sonneson,
ofof thethe rightright bloudblood ofof thethe Merri-thoughtsMerrythoughtsmerry-thoughts, II maymay cursecurse thethe
timetime thatthat er’eere II knewknew thythy fatherfather, hehe hathhath spentspent allall hishis owneown,
andand minemine tootoo, andand whenwhen II telltell himhim ofof itit, hehe laugheslaughs andand dan-dancesdan∣cesdances
ces,
andand singssings, andand cryescries, AA merrymerry heartheart liueslives long-along-along. AndAnd
thouthou artart aa wast-thriftwastethriftwaste-thrift, andand artart runrun awayaway fromfrom thythy maistermaster,
thatthat lou’dloved theethee wellwell, andand artart comecome toto meme, andand II hauehave laidlaid vpup aa
littlelittle forfor mymy yongeryounger sonneson MichaelMichael, andand thouthou think’stthink’st toto be-bezellbe∣zellbezzlebezell
zell
thatthat, butbut thouthou shaltshalt neuernever bebe ableable toto dodo itit. ComeCome hitherhither
MichaelMichael, comecome MichaelMichael, downedown onon thythy kneesknees, thouthou shaltshalt
hauehave mymy blessingblessing.EnterEnter MichaelMichael.
Mich.MichaelMich.II praypray youyou mothermother praypray toto GodGod toto blessebless meme.
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.GodGod blessebless theethee: butbut IasperJasperjasper shalshall neuernever hauehave
mymy blessingblessing, hehe shallshall bebe hang’dhanged firstfirst, shallshall heehe notnot MichaelMichael?
howhow saistsaystsayest thouthou?
Mich.MichaelMich.YesYes forsoothforsooth mothermother andand gracegrace ofof GodGod.
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.That’sThat’s aa goodgood boyboy.
WifeWife.I faithI’faithi’faith it’sit’s aa fine spokenfinefine-spokenfine spoken spoken childchild.
Iasp.JasperIasp.MotherMother, thoughthough youyou forgetforget aa parentsparent’s louelove,
II mustmust preseruepreserve thethe dutyduty ofof aa childchild.
II ranran notnot fromfrom mymy maistermaster, nornor returnereturn
ToTo hauehave youryour stockestock maintainemaintain mymy IdlenesseIdleness.
WifeWife.VngraciousUngracious childechild II warrantwarrant himhim, harkehark howhow heehe
chopschops logickelogic withwith hishis mothermother: thouthou hadsthadst bestbest telltell herher sheshe
lyeslies, dodo telltell herher sheshe lyeslies.
Cit.CitizenCit.IfIf heehe werewere mymy sonneson, II wouldwould hanghang himhim vpup byby thethe
C3
heeles,

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

heelesheels, andand fleaflay himhim, andand saltsalt himhim, whoore-sonnewhoreson halter-halter∣sackhalter∣sack
sackhalter-sack.
Iasp.JasperIasp.MyMy commingcoming onelyonly isis toto beggebeg youryour louelove,
WhichWhich II mustmust euerever, thoughthough II neuernever gainegain itit,
AndAnd howsoeuerhowsoever youyou esteemeesteem ofof meme,
ThereThere isis nono dropdrop ofof bloudblood hidhid inin thesethese veinesveins,
ButBut II rememberremember wellwell belongsbelongs toto youyou
ThatThat broughtbrought meme forthforth, andand wouldwould bebe gladglad forfor youyou
ToTo riprip themthem allall againeagain, andand letlet itit outout.
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.I faithI’faithi’faith II hadhad sorrowsorrow enoughenough forfor theethee (GodGod
knowesknows) butbut Il’eI’ll hamperhamper theethee wellwell enoughenough: getget theethee inin
thouthou vagabondvagabond, getget theethee inin, andand learnelearn ofof thythy brotherbrother Mi-MichaelMi∣chaelMichael
chaelMichael
.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri. withinwithin.NoseNose, nosenose, iollyjolly redred nosenose, andand whowho gauegave
theethee thisthis iollyjolly redred nosenose?
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.HarkeHark, mymy husbandhusband hee’she’s singingsinging andand hoitinghoiting,
AndAnd Im’eI’m fainefain toto carkecark andand carecare, andand allall littlelittle enoughenough.
HusbandHusband, CharlesCharles, CharlesCharles MerithoughtMerrythoughtMerithought.
EnterEnter oldold MerithoughtMerrythoughtMerithought.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.NutmegsNutmegs andand GingerGinger, CinnamonCinnamon andand ClouesCloves,
AndAnd theythey gauegave meme thisthis iollyjolly redred NoseNose.

Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.IfIf youyou wouldwould considerconsider youryour statestate, youyou wouldwould
hauehave littlelittle lustlust toto singsing, I-wisseIwis.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.ItIt shouldshould neuernever beebe consideredconsidered whilewhile itit werewere anan
estateestate, ifif II thoughtthought itit wouldwould spoylespoil mymy singingsinging.
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.ButBut howhow wiltwilt thouthou dodo CharlesCharles, thouthou artart anan oldold
manman, andand thouthou canstcanst notnot workework, andand thouthou hasthast notnot fortieforty shil-shillingsshil∣lingsshillings
lings
leftleft, andand thouthou eatesteatest goodgood meatmeat, andand drinkestdrinkest goodgood
drinkedrink, andand laughestlaughest?
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.AndAnd willwill dodo.
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.ButBut howhow wiltwilt thouthou’comethou comecome byby itit CharlesCharles?
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.HowHow? whywhy howhow hauehave II donedone hithertohitherto thisthis fortyforty
yearesyears? II neuernever camecame intointo mymy diningdining roomeroom, butbut atat eleueneleven &and
sixsix a clockeo’clock, II foundfound excellentexcellent meatmeat andand drinkedrink a’tho’th’ tabletable, mymy
clothesclothes werewere neuernever worneworn outout, butbut nextnext morningmorning aa TaylorTailortailor
broughtbrought meme aa newnew suitsuit; andand withoutwithout questionquestion itit willwill bebe soso e-euere∣uerevereuer
uer:
vseuse makesmakes perfectnesseperfectness. IfIf allall shouldshould failefail, itit isis butbut aa littlelittle
straining

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

strainingstraining my selfemyself extraordinaryextraordinary, &and laughlaugh my selfemyself toto deathdeath.
WifeWife.It’sIt’s aa foolishfoolish oldold manman thisthis: isis notnot hehe GeorgeGeorge?
Cit.CitizenCit.YesYes CunnyCunnyconey.
WifeWife.GiueGive meme aa penypenny i’thi’th’ pursepurse whilewhile II liuelive GeorgeGeorge.
Cit.CitizenCit.IAyI byby LadieLady cunniecunnyconey, holdhold theethee therethere.
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.WellWell CharlesCharles, youyou promis’dpromised toto prouideprovide forfor Ias-IasperIas∣perJasperjasper
per
,
andand II hauehave laidlaid vpup forfor MichaelMichael, II praypray youyou paypay IasperJasperjasper hishis
portionportion, hee’she’s comecome homehome, andand heehe shallshall notnot consumeconsume Mi-MichaelsMi∣chaelsMichael’s
chaels

stockestock: hehe saiessays hishis maistermaster turndturned himhim awayaway, butbut II pro-promisepro∣misepromise
mise
youyou trulytruly, II thinkethink hehe ranran awayaway.
WifeWife.NoNo indeedindeed mistressemistress MerrithoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought, thoughthough hehe beebe aa
notablenotable gallowesgallows, yetyet Il’eI’ll assureassure youyou hishis maistermaster diddid turneturn
himhim awayaway, eueneven inin thisthis placeplace ’twas’twas I’faithI’faith withinwithin thisthis halfehalf
hourehour, aboutabout hishis daughterdaughter, mymy husbandhusband waswas byby.
Cit.CitizenCit.HangHang himhim rouguerogue, hehe seru’dserved himhim wellwell enoughenough: louelove
hishis maistersmaster’s daughterdaughter! byby mymy trothtroth CunnieCunnyconey ifif therethere werewere aa
thousandthousand boiesboys, thouthou wouldstwouldst spoilespoil themthem allall withwith takingtaking
theirtheir partsparts,