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The Fair Maid of the West, or A Girl Worth Gold, 1
The Fair Maid of the West, or A Girl Worth Gold, 1

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THETHE
FAIRFAIR MAIDMAID
OFOF THETHE WESTWEST.
OROR,
AA GirleGirl worthworth goldgold.
TheThe firstfirst partpart.

AsAs itit waswas latelylately actedacted beforebefore thethe KingKing andand
QueenQueen, withwith approvedapproved likingliking.
ByBy thethe QueensQueen’s MajestiesMajesty’smajesty’s ComediansComedians.
WrittenWritten byby T.T. H.H.

LONDONLONDON,
PrintedPrinted forfor RichardRichard RoystonRoyston, andand areare toto bebe soldsold
atat hishis ShopShop inin IvieIvy LaneLane. 16311631.


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ToTo thethe muchmuch worthyworthy, andand mymy
mostmost respectedrespected, IOHNJOHN OTHOVVOTHOW,
EsquireEsquire, CounsellourCounsellor atat LawLaw, inin
thethe noblenoble SocietieSociety ofof
GraiesGray’sGray InneInn.

SIRSIR,
EXcuseEXcuse thisthis mymy boldnesseboldness,
(II intreatentreat youyou) andand letlet itit
passepass underunder thethe titletitle ofof mymy
lovelove andand respectrespect, longlong
devoteddevoted untounto youyou; ofof
whichwhich, ifif II endeavourendeavour toto
presentpresent thethe worldworld withwith aa duedue acknow-acknowledgementacknow∣ledgementacknowledgement
ledgement
withoutwithout thethe sordidsordid expecta-expectationexpecta∣tionexpectation
tion
ofof rewardreward, oror servileservile imputationimputation ofof
flatterieflattery, II hopehope itit willwill bebe thethe ratherrather acceptedaccepted.
II mustmust ingenuouslyingenuously acknowledgeacknowledge, aa weigh-weightierweigh∣tierweightier
tier
argumentargument wouldwould havehave betterbetter suitedsuited withwith
youryour gravegrave imploymentemployment; butbut therethere areare retire-retiremētsretire|mētsretirements
mēts
necessarilynecessarily belongingbelonging toto allall thethe labourslabours
ofof thethe bodybody andand brainbrain: IfIf inin anyany suchsuch cessati-cessationcessati∣oncessation
on,
youyou willwill daignedeign toto castcast anan eyeeye uponupon
thisthis weakweak andand unpollish’tunpolished PoemPoem, II shallshall re-receivere∣ceivereceive
ceive
itit asas aa courtesiecourtesy fromfrom youyou, muchmuch ex-exceedingex∣ceedingexceeding
A3
ceeding

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The Epistle Dedicatory.

ceeding
anyany meritmerit inin meeme, (mymy goodgood mea-meaningmea∣ningmeaning
ning
onelyonly acceptedaccepted.) ThusThus wishingwishing
youyou healthfullhealthful abilitieab●ability inin bodybody, untroubled●ubleduntroubled
contentcon●ntcontent inin minde●demind: withwith thethe happiehappi●happy fruitionfruition
ofof bothboth thethe temporalltemporal felicitiesfelicities ofof thethe
worldworld presentpresent, andand thethe eternalleternal blessednesseblessedness
ofof thethe lifelife futurefuture; II stillstill remainremain asas everever,

YoursYours, mostmost affectionatelyaffectionately
devoteddevoted,

THOMASTHOMAS HEYVVOODHEYWOOD.


To

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ToTo thethe READERREADER.

CVrteousCourteous ReaderReader, mymy PlaiesPlays havehave notnot
beenebeen exposedexposed toto thethe publikepublic viewview ofof
thethe worldworld inin numerousnumerous sheetssheets, andand
aa largelarge volumevolume; butbut singlysingly (asas thouthou
seestseest) withwith greatgreat modestymodesty, andand
smallsmall noisenoise. TheseThese ComediesComedies, bear-bearingbear∣ingbearing
ing
thethe titletitle ofof, TheThe fairfair MaidMaid
ofof thethe WestWest
: ifif theythey proveprove butbut asas gratiousgracious inin thythy
privateprivate readingreading, asas theythey werewere plausibleplausible inin thethe pub-publickpub|lickpublic
lick
actingacting, II shallshall notnot muchmuch doubtdoubt ofof theirtheir successesuccess. NorNor
needeneed theythey (II hopehope) muchmuch fearfear aa ruggedrugged andand censoriouscensorious
browbrow fromfrom theethee, onon whomwhom thethe greatestgreatest andand bestbest inin thethe
kingdomekingdom, havehave vouchsafedvouc●safedvouchsafed toto smilesmile. II holdhold itit nono neces-necessityneces∣sitynecessity
sity
toto troubletrouble theethee withwith thethe ArgumentArgument ofof thethe storystory, thethe
mattermatter it selfitself lyinglying soso plainlyplainly beforebefore theethee inin ActsActs andand
ScenesScenes, withoutwithout anyany deviationsdeviations, oror windingwinding indentsindents.
PerusePeruse itit throughthrough, andand thouthou maistmayst findefind inin itit,
SomeSome mirthmirth, somesome mattermatter, &and, perhapsperhaps, somesome witwit.

HeHe thatthat wouldwould studiestudy thythy
contentcontent,

T.T. H.H.


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DramatisDramatis personæpersonaepersonae.

TWoTWo SeaSea CaptainsCaptains.
Mr.MasterMr. CarollCarrolCarol, aa GentlemāG●ntlemāGentleman.
Mr.MasterMr. SpencerSpencer. ByBy Mr.MasterMr.
MichaelMichael BowyerBowyer
.

CaptainCaptain GoodlackGoodlack, Spen-SpencersSpen|cersSpencer’s
cers

friendfriend; byby Mr.MasterMr. Rich.RichardRich.
PerkinsPerkins
.

TwoTwo VintnersVintner’svintner’s boyesboys.
BesseBess BridgesBridges, TheThe fairfair
MaidMaid ofof thethe westwest; byby HughHugh
ClarkClarkclerk
.

Mr.MasterMr. ForsetForset, aa GentlemanGentleman;
byby Christoph.ChristopherChristoph. GoadGoad.

Mr.MasterMr. RuffmanRoughmanRuffman, aa swager-swaggeringswagger∣ingswaggering
ing
GentlemanGentleman; byby WilliamWilliam
ShearlockShearlock
.

ClemClem, aa drawerdrawer ofof winewine
underunder BesseBess BridgesBridges; byby Mr.Mr.
WilliamWilliam RobinsonRobinson
.

ThreeThree SaylersSailors.. AA SurgeonSurgeon.
AA kitchingkitchen MaidMaid; byby Mr.MasterMr.
AnthonyAnthony FurnerFurner
.

TheThe MaiorMayor ofof FoyFoy, anan Al-AldermanAl∣dermanAlderman
derman,
andand aa servantservant.

AA SpanishSpanish Cap.CaptainCap. byby. C.C. GoadGoad
AnAn EnglishEnglish MerchantMerchant; byby
Rob.RobertRob. AxellAxellaxle.

MullishegMullisheg, K.KingK. ofof FesseFez, byby
Mr.MasterMr. Will.WillWilliamWill. AllenAllen.

BashawBashaw AlcadeAlcade; byby Mr.MasterMr.
WilbrahamWilbraham
.

BashawBashaw IofferJofferjoffer.
TwoTwo SpanishSpanish CaptainsCaptains.
AA FrenchFrench MerchantMerchant.
AnAn ItalianItalian MerchantMerchant.
AA ChorusChorus.
TheThe EarlEarl ofof EssexEssex goinggoing
toto CalesCales: thethe MaiorMayor ofof Pli-PlimothPli|mothPlymouth
moth
,
withwith PetitionersPetitioners,
MutesMutes, personatedpersonated.



ProloguePrologue.
AMongstAMongstamong thethe GreciansGrecians therethere werewer●were annuallannual feastsfeasts,
ToTo whichwhich nonenone werewere invitedinvited asas chiefchief guestsguests,
SaveSave PrincesPrinces andand theirtheir WivesWives. AmongstAmongst thethe menmen,
ThereThere waswas nono argumentargument disputeddisputed thenthen,
ButBut whowho bestbest govern’dgoverned: AndAnd (as’tas’t diddid appeareappear)
HeHe waswas esteem’desteemed solesole SoveraigneSovereign forfor thatthat yeareyear.
TheThe QueensQueens andand LadiesLadies arguedargued atat thatthat timetime,
ForFor VertueVirtue andand forfor beautybeauty whichwhich waswas primeprime,
AndAnd sheshe hadhad thethe highhigh honourhonour. TwoTwo herehere bebe,
ForFor BeautyBeauty oneone, thethe otherother MajestyMajesty,
MostMost worthyworthy (diddid thatthat customecustom stillstill perseverpersever)
NotNot forfor oneone yeareyear, butbut toto bebe SoveraignesSovereigns everever.


THE

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1

THETHE FAIREFAIR MAIDMAID
ofof thethe VVestWest:
OROR,
AA GirleGirl worthworth GoldGold.

EnterEnter twotwo CaptainesCaptains, and●ndand Mr.MasterMr. CarrolCarrol.
1.1. Capt.CaptainCapt.
WHenWhen putsputs mymy LordLord toto SeaSea?
2.2. Capt.CaptainCapt.WhenWhen thethe winde’swind’s fairefair.
Car.CarrolCar.ResolveR●olveResolve meme II intreatentreat, cancan youyou notnot guesseguess
TheThe purposepurpose ofof thisthis voyagevoyage?
1.1. Capt.CaptainCapt.MostMost menmen thinkethink
TheThe Fleet’sFleet’s boundbound forfor thethe IlandsIslandsLands.
Carr.CarrolCarr.NayNay, tis’tis likelike.
TheThe greatgreat successesuccess atat CalesCales underunder thethe conductconduct
OfOf suchsuch aa NobleNoble GenerallGeneral, hathhath putput heartheart
IntoInto thethe EnglishEnglish: TheyThey areare allall onon firefire
ToTo purchasepurchase fromfrom thethe SpaniardSpaniard. IfIf theirtheir CarracksCarracks
ComeCome deeplydeeply ladenladen, weewe shallshall tuggetug withwith themthem
ForFor goldengolden spoilespoil.
2.2. Capt.CaptainCapt.OO, werewere itit comecome toto thatthat!
11 Capt.CaptainCapt.HowHow PlimouthPlymouth swellsswells withwith GallantsGallants!! howhow thethe (streetsstreets
GlisterGlister withwith goldgold! YouYou cannotcannot meetmeet aa manman
ButBut trickttricked inin skarffescarf andand featherfeather, thatthat itit seemesseems
AsAs ifif thethe pridepride ofof EnglandsEngland’s GallantryGallantry
WereWere harbourdharboured herehere. ItIt dothdoth appeareappear (me thinkesmethinks)
AA veryvery CourtCourt ofof SouldiersSoldiers.
Carr.CarrolCarr.ItIt dothdoth soso.
B
Where

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The faire Maid of the West:
2

WhereWhere shallshall wewe dinedine to daytoday?
2.2. Capt.CaptainCapt.AtAt thethe nextnext TaverneTavern byby; there’sthere’s thethe bestbest winewine,
11 Cap.CaptainCap.AndAnd thethe bestbest wenchwench, BesseBess BridgesBridges, she’sshe’s thethe flowreflower
OfOf PlimouthPlymouth heldheld: thethe CastleCastle needesneeds nono bushbush,
HerHer beautybeauty drawesdraws toto themthem moremore gallantgallant CustomersCustomers
ThenThanThen allall thethe signessigns ith’i’th’ townetown elseelse.
2.2. Capt.CaptainCapt.AA sweetsweet LasseLass,
IfIf II havehave anyany judgementjudgement.
1.1. Capt.CaptainCapt.NowNow inin trothtroth
II thinkethink shee’sshe’s honesthonest.
Carr.CarrolCarr.HonestHonest, andand livelive therethere?
WhatWhat, inin aa publikepublic TaverneTavern, where’swhere’s suchsuch confluenceconfluence
OfOf lustylusty andand bravebrave GallantsGallants? HonestHonest saidsaid youyou?
2.2. Capt.CaptainCapt.II vowvow sheshe isis forfor meme.
1.1. Capt.CaptainCapt.ForFor allall, II thinkthink. I’mI’m suresure she’sshe’s wondrouswondrous modestmodest.
Carr.CarrolCarr.ButBut withallwithal
ExceedingExceeding affableaffable.
22 Capt.CaptainCapt.AnAn argumentargument thatthat shee’sshe’s notnot proudproud.
Carr.CarrolCarr.NoNo, werewere sheshe proudproud, she’dshe’d fallfall.
11 Capt.CaptainCapt.WellWell, shee’sshe’s aa mostmost attractiveattractive AdamantAdamant,
HerHer veryvery beautybeauty hathhath upheldupheld thatthat househouse,
AndAnd gain’dgained herher mastermaster muchmuch.
Carr.CarrolCarr.ThatThat AdamantAdamant
ShallShall forfor thisthis timetime drawdraw meme totooto, wee’llwe’ll dinedine therethere.
2.2. Capt.CaptainCapt.NoNo betterbetter motionmotion: ComeCome toto thethe CastleCastle thenthen.

EnterEnter M.MasterM. SpencerSpencer, andand Capt.CaptainCapt. GoodlackGoodlack.
Goodl.GoodlackGoodl.WhatWhat, toto thethe oldold househouse stillstill?
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.CanstCanst blameblame meme, CaptaineCaptain,
BeleeveBelieve meme, II waswas nevernever surprisdesurprised tilltill nownow,
OrOr catchtcatch●catchedcaught uponupon thethe suddensudden.
Goodl.GoodlackGoodl.PrayPray resolveresolve meme,
WhyWhy beingbeing aa GentlemanGentleman ofof fortunesfortunes, meanesmeans,
AndAnd wellwell revenuderevenuedreserved, willwill youyou adventureadventure thusthus
AA doubtfulldoubtful voyagevoyage, whenwhen onelyonly suchsuch asas II
BorneBorn toto nono otherother fortunesfortunes thenthen mymy swordsword
Should

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or, a Girle worth gold.
3

ShouldShould seekeseek abroadabroad forfor pillagepillage.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.PillagePillage, CaptaineCaptain?
NoNo, tis’tis forfor honorhonour; AndAnd thethe bravebrave societiesociety
OfOf allall thesethese shiningshining GallantsGallants thatthat attendattend
TheThe greatgreat L.LordL. GenerallGeneral, drewdrew meme hitherhither firstfirst:
NoNo hopehope ofof gainegain oror spoylespoil.
Goodl.GoodlackGoodl.IAyay, butbut whatwhat drawesdraws youyou toto thisthis househouse soso oftoft?
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.AsAs ifif thouthou knewstknewst itit notnot.
Goodl.GoodlackGoodl.WhatWhat, BesseBess?
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.EvenEven sheshe.
Goodl.GoodlackGoodl.ComeCome, II mustmust telltell youyou, youyou forgetforget your selfeyourself,
OneOne ofof youryour birthbirth andand breedingbreeding, thusthus toto dotedote
VponUpon aa TannersTanner’stanner’s daughterdaughter: whywhy, herher fatherfather
SoldSold hydeshides inin SomersetshireSomersetshire, andand beingbeing trade-falnetrade-fallen,
SentSent herher toto serviceservice.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.PretheePrithee speakespeak nono moremore,
ThouThou telsttell’st meme thatthat whichwhich II wouldwould fainefain forgetforget,
OrOr wishwish II hadhad notnot knowneknown. IfIf thouthou wiltwilt humorhumour meme
TellTell meme shee’sshe’s fairefair andand honesthonest.
Goodl.GoodlackGoodl.YesYes, andand lovesloves youyou.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.ToTo forgetforget thatthat, werewere toto excludeexclude thethe restrest:
AllAll savingsaving thatthat, werewere nothingnothing. ComeCome let’slet’s enterenter.

EnterEnter 2.2. DrawersDrawers.
1.1. Draw.DrawerDraw.YouYou areare welcomewelcome GentlemenGentlemen. ShewShow themthem intointo
thethe nextnext roomeroom therethere.
2.2. Draw.DrawerDraw.LookeLook outout aa TowellTowel, andand somesome RollsRolls, aa SaltSalt andand
TrenchersTrenchers.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.NoNo sirsir, wewe willwill notnot dinedin●dine.
2.2. Draw.DrawerDraw.II amam suresure yeye wouldwould ifif yeye hadhad mymy stomackestomach.
WhatWhat winewine drinkedrink yeeye, SackeSack oror ClaretClaret?
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.WheresWhere’s BesseBess?
2.2. Draw.DrawerDraw.MarryMarry aboveabove withwith threethree oror fourefour GentlemenGentlemen.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.GoeGo callcall herher.
2.2. D.DrawerD.IleI’ll drawdraw youyou aa cupcup ofof thethe neatestneatest winewine inin PlimouthPlymouth
Spen.SpencerSpen.IleI’ll tasttaste nonenone ofof youryour drawingdrawing. GoeGo callcall BesseBess.
B2
2. Draw.

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The faire Maid of the West:
4

22 Draw.DrawerDraw.TheresThere’sthere’s nothingnothing inin thethe mouthesmouths ofof thesethese Gal-GallantsGal∣lantsGallants
lants,
butbut BesseBess, BesseBess.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.WhatWhat sa’ysa’ yesa’y SirSir?
2.2. Draw.DrawerDraw.NothingNothing sirsir, butbut IleI’ll goego callcall herher presentlypresently.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.TellTell herher who’swho’s herehere.
2.2. Draw.DrawerDraw.TheThe devilldevil ridrid herher outout ofof thethe househouse forfor meme.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.Sa’ySa’ yeSa’y sirsir?
22 Draw.DrawerDraw.NothingNothing butbut anonanon anonanon sirsir.

EnterEnter BesseBess BridgesBridges.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.SeeSee she’sshe’s comecome.
Bess.BessBess.SweetSweet MrMrMasterMr. SpencerSpencer, y’arey’areyou’re aa strangerstranger grownegrown,
WhereWhere havehave youyou beenebeen thesethese threethree dayesdays?
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.TheThe lastlast nightnight
IIfIfI sateatesatate upup latelate, atat gamegame: herehere taketake thisthis baggebag,
AndAnd lay’tlay’t upup tilltill II callcall for’tfor’t.
Bess.BessBess.SirSir II shallshall.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.BringBring meme somesome winewine.
Bess.BessBess.II knowknow youryour tastetaste,
AndAnd II shallshall pleaseplease youryour palatepalate.
Goodl.GoodlackGoodl.TrothTroth tis’tis aa prettypretty soulesoul.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.ToTo theethee II willwill unbosomeunbosom allall mymy thoughtsthoughts,
WereWere herher lowlow birthbirth butbut equallequal withwith herher beautybeauty
HereHere wouldwould II fixefix mymy thoughtsthoughts.
Goodl.GoodlackGoodl.YouYou areare notnot madmad sirsir?
YouYou saysay youyou lovelove herher.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.NeverNever questionquestion thatthat.
Goodl.GoodlackGoodl.ThenThen putput herher to’tto’t, winwin OportunityOpportunity,
SheesShe’s thethe bestbest bawdbawd: IfIf (asas youyou saysay) sheshe lovesloves youyou,
SheShe cancan denydeny youyou nothingno●hingnothing.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.II havehave provedproved herher
VntoUnto thethe utmostutmost testtest. Examin’dExamined herher.
EvenEven toto aa modestmodest forceforce: butbut allall inin vainevain:
Shee’llShe’llshe’ll laughlaugh, conferreconfer, keepekeep companycompany, discoursediscourse,
AndAnd somethingsomething moremore, kissekiss: butbut beyondbey●ndbeyond thatthat compassecompass
SheShe nono wayway cancan bebe drawnedrawn.
Goodl.

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or, a Girle worth gold.
5

Goodl.GoodlackGoodl.Tis’Tis aa vertuevirtue,
ButBut seldomeseldom foundfound inin tavernestaverns.

EnterEnter BesseBess withwith winewine.
BesseBess.Tis’Tis ofof thethe bestbest GravesGraves winewine sirsir.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.GramarcieGramercygramercy GirleGirl, comecome sitsit.
BesseBess.PrayPray pardonpardon sirsir, II daredare notnot.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.IleI’ll ha’itha’ it soso.
BesseBess.MyMy fellowesfellows lovelove meme notnot, andand willwill complainecomplain
OfOf suchsuch aa sawcysaucy boldnesseboldness.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.PoxPox onon youryour fellowesfellows,
IleI’ll trytry whetherwhether theirtheir pottlepottle potspots oror headsheads
BeBe harderharder, ifif II doedo butbut hearehear themthem grumblegrumble.
SitSit: nownow BesseBess drinkedrink toto meme.
BesseBess.ToTo youryour goodgood voyagevoyage.

EnterEnter thethe secondsecond DrawerDrawer.
22 Draw.DrawerDraw.DidDid youyou callcall sirsir?
Sp.SpencerSp.YesYes sirsir, toto havehave youryour absenceabsence. CaptaineCaptain, thisthis healthhealth.
Goodl.GoodlackGoodl.LetLet itit comecome sirsir.
22 Draw.DrawerDraw.MustMust youyou bebe setset, andand wewe waitwait, withwith aa
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.WhatWhat saysay youyou sirsir?
22 Draw.DrawerDraw.AnonAnon, anonanon, II comecome therethere.ExitExit.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.WhatWhat willwill youyou ventureventure BesseBess toto seasea withwith meme?
BesseBess.WhatWhat II lovelove bestbest, mymy heartheart: forfor II couldcould wishwish
II hadhad beenebeen borneborn toto equallequal youyou inin fortunefortune,
OrOr youyou soso lowlow, toto havehave beenebeen ranktranked withwith meme,
II couldcould havehave thenthen presum’dpresumed boldlyboldly toto saysay,
II lovelove nonenone butbut mymy SpencerSpencer.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.BesseBess II thankethank theethee.
KeepeKeep●Keepe stillstill thatthat hundredhundred poundpound tilltill mymy returnereturn
FromFrom th’Islandsth’Islands withwith mymy LordLord: ifif nevernever, wenchwench
TakeTake itit, itit isis thinethine owneown.
BesseBess.YouYou bindebind meme toto youyou.
B3
Enter

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The faire Maid of the West:
6


EnterEnter thethe firstfirst DrawerDrawer.
11 Draw.DrawerDraw.BesseBess, youyou mustmu●tmust fillfill somesome winewine intointo thethe Port-Port-cullisPortcullis
cullis,
thethe GentlemenGentlemen therethere willwill drinkedrink nonenone butbut ofof youryour
drawingdrawing.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.SheShe shallshall notnot riserise sirsir, goego, letlet youryour MasterMaster snick-upsnick-up.
11 D.DrawerD.AndAnd thatthat shouldshould bebe cousin-germancousin-german toto thethe hick-uphiccup.

EnterEnter thethe secondsecond DrawerDrawer.
22 Draw.DrawerDraw.BesseBess, youyou mustmust needsneeds comecome, thethe gentlemengentlemen
flingfling potspots, pottlespottles, drawersdrawers, andand allall downedown●down stairesstairs. TheThe
wholewhole househouse isis inin anan uproreuproar.
BesseBess.PrayPray pardonpardon sirsir, II needsneeds mustmust bebe gonegone.
22 D.DrawerD.TheThe GentlemenGentlemen sweareswear ifif sheshe comecome notnot upup toto thēthem
TheyThey willwill comecome downedown toto herher.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.IfIf theythey comecome inin peacepeace,
LikeLike ciuillcivil GentlemenGentlemen, theythey maymay bebe welcomewelcome:
IfIf otherwiseotherwise, letlet themthem usurpeusurp theirtheir pleasurespleasures.
WeWe standstand prepar’dprepared forfor bothboth.

EnterEnter CarollCarrolCaroll andand twotwo CaptainesCaptains.
Car.CarrolCar.SaveSave youyou gallantsgallants, wewe areare somwhatsomewhat boldbold toto pressepress
IntoInto youryour companycompany. ItIt maymay bebe heldheld scarcescarce mannersmanners,
ThereforeTherefore fitfit thatthat wewe shouldshould cravecrave youryour pardonpardon.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.SirSir, youyou areare welcomewelcome, soso areare youryour friendsfriends.
11 Capt.CaptainCapt.SomeSome winewine.
BesseBess.PrayPray givegive meme leaveleave toto fillfill itit.
Sp.SpencerSp.YouYou shallshall notnot stirstir. SoSo pleaseplease youyou wee’lwe’ll joynejoin cōpanycompany.
DrawerDrawer, moremore stoolesstools.
Car.CarrolCar.II tak’ttake’t that’sthat’s aa sheshe drawerdrawer. AreAre youyou ofof thethe househouse?
BesseBess.II amam sirsir.
CarollCarrolCaroll.InIn whatwhat placeplace?
BesseBess.II drawdraw.
CarollCarrolCaroll.BeereBeer, doedo youyou notnot? YouYou areare somesome tapstressetapstress.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.SirSir, thethe worstworst charactercharacter youyou cancan bestowbestow
VponUpon thethe maidemaid isis toto drawdraw winewine.
Caroll.

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or, a Girle worth gold.
7

CarollCarrolCaroll.SheShe wouldwo●would drawdraw nonenone toto usus,
PerhapsPerhaps sheshe keepeskeeps aa RundletRundletRoundlet forfor youryour tastetaste,
WhichWhich nonenone butbut youyou mustmust piercepierce.
22 Capt.CaptainCapt.II praypray be●ebe civillcivil.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.II knowknow notno●not, GentlemenGentlemen, whatwhat youryour intentsintents bebe,
NorNor doedo II fearefear oror carecare. ThisThis isis mymy roome〈◊〉room,
AndAnd ifif youyou bearebear youyou, asas youyou seemeseem inin shewshow,
LikeLike GentlemenGentlemen, sitsit andand bebe sociablesociable.
Car.CarrolCar.WeWe willwill. MinxMin●Minx, byby youryour leaveleave: RemoveRemove II saysay.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.SheShe shallshall notnot stirstir.
Car.CarrolCar.HowHow sirsir?
Spen.SpencerSpen.NoNo sirsir: couldcould youyou out-faceoutface thethe devilldevil,
WeWe doedo notnot fearefear youryour roaringroaring.
Car.CarrolCar.ThoughThough youyou maymay bebe companioncompanion withwith aa drudgedrudge,
ItIt isis notnot fitfit sheeshe shouldshould havehave placeplace byby usus.
AboutAbout youryour businessebusiness, huswifehuswifehousewife.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.SheShe isis worthyworthy
TheThe placeplace asas thethe bestbest herehere, andand sheshe shallshall keep’tkeepekeep●keepekeep’t.
Car.CarrolCar.YouYou lielie.TheyThey bustlebustle. CarollCarrolCaroll slaines●aineslain.
Goodl.GoodlackGoodl.TheThe Gentleman’sGentleman’s slaineslain, awayaway.
BesseBess.OhOhO heavenheaven, whatwhat havehave youyou donedone?
Goodl.GoodlackGoodl.VndoneUndone thy selfethyself andand mem●me tootoo. ComeCome awayaway!!
BesseBess.OhOhO sadsad misfortunemisfortune, II shallshall loselose himhim everever.
WhatWhat, areare youyou menmen oror milkmilk sopssops? StandStand youyou stillstill
SenslesseSenseless asas stonesstones, andand seesee youryour friendfriend inin dangerdanger
ToTo expireexpire hishis lastlast?
11 Capt.CaptainCapt.TushTush, allall ourour help’shelp’s inin vainevain.
22 Capt.CaptainCapt.ThisThis isis thethe fruitfruit ofof whooreswhores.
ThisThis mischiefemischief camecame throughthrough theethee..
BesseBess.ItIt grewgrew firstfirst fromfrom youryour incivilitieincivility.
11 Cap.CaptainCap.LendLend meme aa handhand toto liftlift hishis bodybody hencehence.
ItIt waswas aa fatallfatal businessebusiness.ExeuntExeunt CaptainesCaptains.

EnterEnter thethe twotwo DrawersDrawers.
11 Dr.DrawerDr.OneOne callcall mymy MasterMaster, anotheranother fetchfetch thethe constableconstable,
Here’sHere’s aa manman kildkilled inin thethe roomeroom.
2 Dr.

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The faire Maid of the West:
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22 Dr.DrawerDr.HowHow, aa manman kill’dkilled saistsayest thouthou. IsIs allall paidpaid?
11 Dr.DrawerDr.HowHow fellfell theythey outout, canstcanst thouthou telltell?
22 Dr.DrawerDr.SureSure aboutabout thisthis boldbold BetriceBettriceBetrice: tis’tis notnot soso muchmuch forfor
thethe deathdeath ofof thethe manman, butbut howhow shallshall wewe comecome byby ourour rec-reckoningrec∣koning
koningreckoning?ExeuntExeunt DrawersDrawers.
BesseBess.WhatWhat shallshall becomebecome ofof meme! OfOf allall lostlost creaturescreatures
TheThe mostmost infortunateinfortunate. MyMy innocenceinnocence
HathHath beenebeen thethe causecause ofof bloodblood, andand II amam nownow
PurpledPurpled withwith murdermurder, thoughthough notnot withinwithin compassecompass
OfOf thethe LawesLaw’slaw’s severesevere censurecensure: butbut whichwhich mostmost
AddesAdds untounto mymy afflictionaffliction, II byby thisthis
HaveHave lostlost soso worthyworthy andand approv’dapproved aa friendfriend,
WhomWhom toto redeemeredeem fromfrom exileexile, II wouldwould givegive
AllAll that’sthat’s withoutwithout andand inin meme.

EnterEnter ForsetForset.
Fors.ForsetFors.YourYour name’sname’s BesseBess BridgesBridges?
BesseBess.AnAn unfortunateunfortunate MaidMaid.
KnowneKnown byby thatthat namename tootoo wellwell inin PlimouthPlymouth herehere.
YourYour businessebusiness, sirsir, withwith meme?
Fors.ForsetFors.KnowKnow youyou thisthis RingRing?
BesseBess.II doedo: itit isis mymy SpencersSpencer’s.
II knowknow withallwithal youyou areare hishis trustytrusty friendfriend,
ToTo whomwhom hehe wouldwould commitcommit itit. SpeakeSpeak, howhow faresfares hehe?
IsIs heehe inin freedomefreedom, knowknow yeeye?
Fors.ForsetFors.Hee’sHe’s inin healthhealth
OfOf bodybody, thoughthough inin mindemind somwhatsomewhat perplextperplexed
ForFor thisthis latelate mischiefemischief happenedhappened.
BesseBess.IsIs hehe fledfled, andand freedfreed fromfrom dangerdanger?
Fors.ForsetFors.NeitherNeither. ByBy thisthis tokentoken
HeHe lovinglylovingly commendscommends himhim toto youyou BesseBess,
AndAnd prayesprays youyou whenwhen tis’tis darkedark meetmeet himhim o’tho’th’o’th HoeHoeho
NeereNear toto thethe new-madenew-made FortFort, wherewhere hee’llhe’ll attendattend youyou,
BeforeBefore hehe flyesflies, toto taketake aa kindekind farewellfarewell.
TheresThere’sthere’s onelyonly GoodlackGoodlack inin hishis companycompany,
HeHe intreatsentreats youyou notnot toto failefail himhim.
Besse.

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or, a Girle worth gold.
9

Bes.BessBes.TellTell himhim fromfrom meme, IleI’ll come●omecome, IleI’ll runnerun, IleI’ll flyefly,
StandStand DeathDeath beforebefore meme: werewere II suresure toto diedie.ExitExit.

EnterEnter SpencerSpencer andand GoodlackeGoodlackGoodlacke.
Goodl.GoodlackGoodl.YouYou areare tootoo fullfull ofof passionpassion.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.CanstCanst thouthou blameblame meme,
ToTo havehave thethe guiltguilt ofof murdermurder burdenburden meme,
AndAnd nextnext, mymy lifelife inin hazatdhazardhaz●tdhazard toto aa deathdeath
SoSo ignominiousignominious: lastlast, toto loselose aa LoveLove
SoSo sweetsweet, soso fairefair, soso am’rousam’rousamorous, andand soso chastechaste,
AndAnd allall thesethese atat anan instantinstant? ArtArt thouthou suresure
CarolCarrolCarol isis deaddead?
Goodl.GoodlackGoodl.II cancan beleevebelieve nono lesseless.
YouYou hithit himhim inin thethe veryvery speedingspeeding placeplace.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.OhOhO butbut thethe lastlast ofof thesethese sitssits neer’stnearest mymy heartheart.
Goodl.GoodlackGoodl.SirSir bebe advis’dadvised byby meeme.
TryTry herher beforebefore youyou trusttrust herher. SheShe perchanceperchance
MayMay taketake th’advantageth’advantage ofof youryour hopefullhopeful fortunesfortunes:
ButBut whenwhen sheshe findesfinds youyou subjectsubject toto distressedistress
AndAnd casualtycasualty, herher flatteringflattering lovelove maymay diedie:
YourYour deceaseddeceased hopeshopes.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.ThouThou counselstcounsel’st wellwell.
IleI’ll putput herher toto thethe testtest andand utmostutmost tryalltrial
BeforeBefore II trusttrust herher furtherfurther. HereHere sheshe comescomes.

EnterEnter ForsetForset, andand BesseBess withwith aa baggebag.

Fors.ForsetFors.II havehave donedone mymy messagemessage sirsir.
Bes.BessBes.FeareFear notnot sweetsweet SpencerSpencer, wewe areare nownow alonealone,
AndAnd thouthou artart sanctuar’dsanctuaried inin thesethese minemine armesarms.
Goodl.GoodlackGoodl.WhileWhile thesethese conferreconfer wee’llwe’ll centinelsentinel theirtheir safetysafety.
ThisThis placeplace IleI’ll guardguard.
Fors.ForsetFors.II thisthis.
Bes.BessBes.AreAre youyou notnot hurthurt?
OrOr youryour skinneskin rac’drazed withwith hishis offensiveoffensive steelesteel?
HowHow isis itit withwith youyou?
C
Spenc.

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The faire Maid of the West:
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Spenc.SpencerSpenc.BesseBess, allall mymy afflictionsafflictions
AreAre thatthat II mustmust leaveleave theethee: thouthou knowstknow’stknowest withallwithal
MyMy extreameextreme necessitynecessity, andand thatthat thethe fearefear
OfOf aa mostmost scandalousscandalous deathdeath dothdoth forceforce meme hencehence.
II amam notnot nearenear mymy CountryCountry, andand toto staystay
FromFrom newnew supplysupply fromfrom thencethence, mightmight deeplydeeply ingageengage meeme●me
ToTo desperatedesperate hazardhazard.
BesseBess.IsIs itit coynecoin youyou wantwant?
HereHere isis thethe hundredhundred poundpound youyou gavegave meme latelate,
VseUse thatthat, besidebeside whatwhat II havehave stor’dstored andand sav’desaved
WhichWhich makesmakes itit fiftyfifty moremore: werewere itit tenten thousandthousand
NayNay, aa wholewhole millionmillion, SpencerSpencer, allall werewere thinethine.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.NoNo, whatwhat thouthou hasthast keepekeep stillstill, tis’tis allall thinethine owneown.
HereHere bebe mymy keyeskeys, mymy trunkestrunks taketake toto thythy chargecharge:
SuchSuch goldgold fitfit forfor transportagetransportage asas II havehave,
IleI’ll bearebear alongalong: thethe restrest areare freelyfreely thinethine,
MoneyMoney, apparellapparel, andand whatwhat elseelse thouthou findstfindst,
PerhapsPerhaps worthworth mymy bequestbequest andand thythy receivingreceiving,
II makemake theethee mistressemistress ofof.
BesseBess.BeforeBefore II doteddoted,
ButBut nownow youyou strivestrive toto havehave meme extasideecstasied.
WhatWhat wouldwould youyou havehave meme doedo, inin whichwhich t’t’toexpresseexpress
MyMy zealezeal toto youyou?
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.WhichWhich inin mymy chamberchamber hangshangs,
MyMy picturepicture, II injoyneenjoin theethee toto keepekeep everever,
ForFor whenwhen thouthou partstpartest withwith thatthat, thouthou losest〈◊〉losest meme.
BesseBess.MyMy soulesoul maymay fromfrom mymy bodybody bebe divorc’ddivorced,
ButBut nevernever thatthat fromfrom meme.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.II havehave aa househouse inin FoyFoy, aa tavernetavern calldcalled
TheThe Winde-millWindmill, thatthat II freelyfreely givegive theethee tootoo,
AndAnd thitherthither ifif II livelive IleI’ll send●endsend toto theethee.
BesseBess.SoSo soonesoon asas II havehave castcast mymy reckoningsreckonings upup,
AndAnd mademade eveneven withwith mymy MasterMaster, IleI’ll notnot failefail
ToTo visitvisit FoyFoy inin CornwallCornwall. IsIs therethere elseelse
OughtAughtaught thatthat youyou willwill injoyneenjoin meme?
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.ThouThou artart fairefair,
Ioyne

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11

IoyneJoinjoin toto thythy beautybeauty vertuevirtue. ManyMany suiterssuitors
II knowknow willwill tempttempt theethee: beauty’sbeauty’s aa shrewdshrewd baitebait,
ButBut untounto thatthat ifif thouthou add’stadd’st chastitiechastity,
ThouThou shaltshalt ore-comeo’ercome allall scandallscandal. TimeTime calscalls hencehence,
WeWe nownow mustmust partpart.
BesseBess.OhOhO thatthat II hadhad thethe powerpower toto makemake TimeTime lamelame,
ToTo staystay thethe starresstars, oror makemake thethe MooneMoon standstand stillstill,
ThatThat futurefuture dayday mightmight nevernever hastehaste thythy flightflight.
II couldcould dwelldwell herehere for everforforeverfor ever ever inin thinethine armesarms.
AndAnd wishwish itit alwayesalways nightnight.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.WeWe trifletrifle howershours. FarewellFarewell.
BesseBess.FirstFirst taketake thisthis RingRing:
Twas’Twas’twas thethe firstfirst tokentoken ofof mymy constantconstant lovelove
ThatThat pastpassed betwixtbetwixt usus. WhenWhen II seesee thisthis nextnext,
AndAnd notnot mymy SpencerSpencer, II shallshall thinkethink theethee deaddead:
ForFor tilltill deathdeath partpart thythy bodybody fromfrom thythy soulesoul
II knowknow thouthou wiltwil●wilt notnot partpart withwith itit.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.SweareSwear forfor meme BesseBess: forfor thouthou maistmayst safelysafely doe’tdo●do’t.
OnceOnce moremore farewellsarewellfarewell: atat FoyFoy thouthou shaltshalt hearehear fromfrom meme.
BesseBess.TheresThere’sthere’s notnot aa wordword thatthat hathhath aa partingparting soundsound
WhichWhich throughthrough minemine earesears shrillsshrills notnot immediateimmediate deathdeath.
II shallshall notnot livelive toto loselose theethee.
Fors.ForsetFors.BestBest bebe gonegone, forfor harkehark II hearehear somesome treadtread.
Spenc.SpencerSpenc.AA thousandthousand farewelsfarewells areare inin oneone contractedcontracted.
CaptaineCaptain awayaway.
ExitExit SpencerSpencer, &and GoodlackeGoodlackGoodlacke.

BesseBess.OhOhO, II shallshall dyedie.
Fors.ForsetFors.WhatWhat meanmean youyou BesseBess, wilwill youyou betraybetray youryour friendfriend,
OrOr callcall mymy namename inin questionquestion? SweetSweet, lookelook upup.
BesseBess.HahHa, isis mymy SpencerSpencer gonegone?
Fors.ForsetFors.WithWith speedspeed towardstowards FoyFoy,
ThereThere toto taketake shipship forfor FiallFayalFiall.
BesseBess.LetLet meme recollectrecollect my selfemyself,
AndAnd whatwhat hehe leftleft inin chargecharge. VertueVirtue andand ChastitieChastity.
NextNext, withwith allall suddensudden expeditionexpedition
C2
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The faire Maid of the West:
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PreparePrepare forfor FoyFoy: allall thesethese willwill II conserveconserve,
AndAnd keepekeep themthem strictlystrictly, asas II wouldwould mymy lifelife.
PlimouthPlymouth farewellfarewell: inin Cornwall●ornwallCornwall II willwill proveprove
AA secondsecond fortunefortune, andand for everforforeverfor ever ever mournemourn,
VntillUntil II seesee mymy SpencersSpencer’s safesafe returnereturn.
HoboysHautboysHoboys.
AA dumbedumb ShowShow. EnterEnter GenerallGeneral, CaptainesCaptains, thethe MayorMayor:
PetitionersPetitioners thethe otherother wayway withwith paperspapers: amongstamongst thesethese thethe
DrawersDrawers. TheThe GenerallGeneral givesgives themthem baggesbags ofof moneymoney. AllAll
goego offoff savingsaving thethe twotwo DrawersDrawers.


11 Draw.DrawerDraw.Tis’Tis wellwell yetyet wew●we havehave gottengotten allall thethe moneymoney duedue
toto mymy MasterMaster. ItIt isis thethe commonestcommonest thingthing thatthat cancan beebe forfor
thesethese CaptainesCaptains toto scorescore andand toto scorescore: butbut whenwhen thethe scoresscores
areare toto bebe paidpaid, NonNon estest inventusinventus.
22 Draw.DrawerDraw.Tis’Tis ordinaryordinary amongstamongst GallantsGallants now a dayesnowadays,
whowho hadhad ratherrather sweareswear fortyforty oathsoaths, thenthanthen onelyonly thisthis oneone
oathoath, GodGod letlet meme nevernever bebe trustedtrusted.
11 Draw.DrawerDraw.ButBut ifif thethe CaptainesCaptains wouldwould followfollow thethe noblenoble
mindemind ofof thethe GenerallGeneral, beforebefore nightnight therethere wouldwould notnot beebe
oneone scorescore owingowing inin PlimouthPlymouth.
22 Draw.DrawerDraw.LittleLittle knowesknows BesseBess●Bess thatthat mymy MasterMaster hathhath gotgot
inin thesethese desperatedesperate debtsdebts: butbut sheshe hathhath castc●stcast upup herher accountaccount::
andand isis gonegone.
11 Draw.DrawerDraw.WhitherWhither canstcanst thouthou telltell?
22 Draw.DrawerDraw.TheyThey saysay toto keepekeep aa TaverneTavern inin FoyFoy, andand thatthat
M.MasterM. SpencerSpencer hathhath givengiven herher aa stockestock toto setset upup forfor her selfeherself.
WellWell, howsoeverhowsoever, II amam gladglad, thoughthough hehe kildkilled thethe manman weewe
havehave gotgot ourour moneymoney.

ExplicitExplicit ActusActus primusprimus.


Actus

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ActusActus secundussecundus, ScenaScaena primaprima.

EnterEnter ForsetForset andand RoughmanRoughman.

ForsetForset.
ININ youryour timetime havehave youyou seeneseen aa sweetersw●tersweeter creaturecreature?
Roughm.RoughmanRoughm.SomeSome weekeweek oror thereaboutsthereabouts.
Fors.ForsetFors.AndAnd inin thatthat smallsmall timetime sheeshe hathhath almostalmost undoneundone
allall thethe otherother TavernsTaverns. TheThe GallantsGallants makemake nono rendezvousrendezvous
nownow butbut atat thethe Wind-millWindmill.
Roughm.RoughmanRoughm.SpightSpite ofof themthem IleI’ll havehave herher. ItIt shallshall costcost meme
thethe settingsetting onon butbut IleI’ll havehave herher.
Fors.ForsetFors.WhyWhy, doedo youyou thinkethink sheshe isis soso easilyeasily wonwon?
Roughm.RoughmanRoughm.EasilyEasily oror notnot, IleI’ll bidbid asas fayrefair andand farrefar asas anyany
manman withinwithin twentytwenty milesmiles ofof mymy headhead, butbut II willwill putput herher
toto thethe squeakesqueak.
Fors.ForsetFors.TheyThey saysay therethere areare KnightsKnights’Knights sonnessons alreadyalready comecome
asas suiterssuitors toto herher.
Roughm.RoughmanRoughm.Tis’Tis likelike enoughenough, somesome youngeryounger brothersbrothers, andand
soso II intendintend toto makemake themthem.
Fors.F●s.ForsetFors.IfIf thesethese doingsdoings holdhold, sheeshe willwill growgrow richrich inin shortshort
timetime.
Roughm.RoughmanRoughm.ThereThere shallshall beebe doingsdoings thatthat shallshall makemake thisthis
Wind-millWindmill mymy grandgrand seateseat, mymy mansionmansion, mymy pallacepalace, andand
mymy ConstantinopleConstantinople.

EnterEnter BesseBess BridgesBridges likelike aa MistresseMistress,
andand Clem.ClemClem.


Fors.ForsetFors.HereHere sheshe comescomes: observeobserve howhow modestlymodestly sheshe bearesbears
her selfeherself.
Roughm.RoughmanRoughm.II mustmust knowknow ofof whatwhat burdenburden thisthis vessellvessel isis, II
shallshall notnot bearebear withwith herher tilltill sheeshe bearebear withwith meeme, andand tilltill
thenthen, II cannotcannot reportreport herher forfor aa womanwoman ofof goodgood cariagecarriage.
C3
Besse.

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The faire Maid of the West:
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BesseBess.YourYour oldeold MasterMaster thatthat dweltdweltdwelled herehere beforebefore mymy
commingcoming, hathhath turn’dturned overover youryour yearesyears toto meme.
Clem.ClemClem.RightRight forsoothforsooth: beforebefore hehe waswas aa VintnerVintner, heehe
waswas aa shoo-makershoemaker, andand leftleft twotwo oror threethree turne-oversturn-overs moremore
besidesbesides my selfemyself.
BesseBess.HowHow longlong hasthast thouthou toto serveserve.
Clem.ClemClem.ButBut eleveneleven yearesyears nextnext grassegrass, andand thenthen II amam inin
hopehope ofof mymy freedomfreedom. ForFor byby thatthat timetime II shallshall bebe atat fulfull ageage.
BesseBess.HowHow oldold artart thouthou nownow?
Clem.ClemClem.ForsoothForsooth newlynewly comecome intointo mymy TeenesTeens. II havehave
scrap’dscraped trencherstrenchers thisthis twotwo yearesyears, andand thethe nextnext VintageVintage II
hopehope toto bebe Barre-boyBar-boybar-boy.
BesseBess.What’sWhat’s thythy namename?
Clem.ClemClem.MyMy namename isis ClemClem, mymy fatherfather waswas aa BakerBaker, andand byby
thethe reportreport ofof hishis neighborsneighbours, asas honesthonest aa manman asas everever livedlived
byby breadbread.
Bes.BessBes.AndAnd wherewhere dweltdweltdwelled hehe?
Clem.ClemClem.BelowBelow herehere inin thethe nextnext crookedcrooked streetstreet, atat thethe
signesign ofof thethe LegLeg. HeeHe waswas nothingnothing soso talltall asas II, butbut aa littlelittle
wee-manwee-man, andand somewhatsomewhat huckt-backthuck-backedhunchbacked.
BesseBess.HeHe waswas onceonce ConstableConstable?
Clem.ClemClem.HeeHe waswas indeedeindeed, andand inin thatthat oneone yeareyear ofof hishis
raignereign, II havehave heardheard themthem saysay, heehe boltedbolted andand siftedsifted outout
moremore businessebusiness, thenthan othersothers inin thatthat officeoffice inin manymany yearesyears
beforebefore himhim.
BesseBess.HowHow longlong istis’t sincesince hehe dyeddied?
Clem.ClemClem.MarryMarry thethe lastlast dearedear yeareyear. ForFor whenwhen cornecorn grewgrew
toto bebe atat anan highhigh raterate, mymy fatherfather nevernever doweddowed afterafter.
BesseBess.II thinkethink II havehave heardheard ofof himhim.
Clem.ClemClem.ThenThen II amam suresure youyou havehave heardheard hehe waswas anan honesthonest
neighborneighbour, andand oneone thatthat nevernever lov’dloved toto bebe meale-mouth’dmeal-mouthed.
BesseBess.WellWell sirrahsirrah, prooveprove anan honesthonest servantservant, andand youyou
shallshall findefind meme youryour goodgood MistresseMistress. WhatWhat companycompany isis inin
thethe MarmaidMarmaid?
Clem.ClemClem.ThereThere bebe fourefour SeaSea captainescaptains. II beleevebele●vebelieve theythey bebe
littlelittle betterbetter thenthan spiratsspiratspirates, theythey areare soso flushflush ofof theirtheir rudocksruddocks.
Besse.

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or, a Girle worth gold.
15

Bess.BessBess.NoNo mattermatter, weewe●we willwill taketake nono notenote ofof themthem.
HereHere theythey ventvent manymany bravebrave commoditiescommodities,
ByBy whichwhich somesome gaingain accrewsaccrues. Th’areTh’arethey’re mymy goodgood customerscustomers,
AndAnd stillstill returnereturn meme profitprofit.
Clem.ClemClem.WotWot youyou whatwhat MistresseMistress, howhow thethe twotwo SaylersSailors
wouldwould havehave servedserved meme, thatthat calldcalled forfor thethe poundpound andand halfehalf
ofof CheeseCheese?
Bess.BessBess.HowHow waswas itit ClemClem?
Clem.ClemClem.WhenWhen II broughtbrought themthem aa reckoningreckoning, theythey wouldwould
havehave hadhad meme toto havehave scor’dscored itit upup. TheyThey tooketook meme forfor aa sim-simplesim∣plesimple
ple
gullgull indeedindeed, thatthat wouldwould havehave hadhad meme toto havehave takentaken
ChalkeChalk forfor CheeseCheese:
BesseBess.WellWell, goego waitewait uponupon thethe CaptainesCaptains, seesee themthem
wantwant nono winewine.
Clem.ClemClem.NorNor reckoningreckoning neytherneither, taketake mymy wordword MistressMistress.
Roughm.RoughmanRoughm.Shee’sShe’s nownow atat leasureleisure, IleI’ll toto herher.
LadyLady, whatwhat GentlemenGentlemen areare thosethose aboveabove?
BesseBess.SirSir theythey areare suchsuch asas pleaseplease toto bebe mymy guestsguests,
AndAnd theythey areare kindlykindly welcomewelcome.
Roughm.RoughmanRoughm.GiveGive meme theirtheir namesnames.
BesseBess.YouYou maymay goego searchsearch thethe Church-bookeChurch-book wherewhere
theythey werewere christnedchristened.
ThereThere youyou perhapsperhaps maymay learnelearn themthem.
Roughm.RoughmanRoughm.MinionMinion, howhow?
Fors.ForsetFors.FieFie, fiefie, youyou areare tootoo ruderude withwith thisthis fairefair creaturecreature,
ThatThat nono wayway seekesseeks t’offendt’offend youyou.
Bess.BessBess.PrayPray handshands offoff.
Roughm.RoughmanRoughm.II telltell theethee maidmaid, wifewife, oror what e’erwhate’er thouthou beestbeest,
NoNo manman shallshall enterenter herehere butbut byby mymy leaveleave.
ComeCome, let’slet’s bebe moremore familiarfamiliar.
Bess.BessBess.’Las’Las good-mangoodman.
R.RoughmanR.WhyWhy knowstknow’stknowest thouthou whōwhom thouthou sleightstsleightftslight’st. II amam RoughmanRoughman,
TheThe onelyonly approvedapproved gallantgallant ofof thesethese partsparts,
AA manman ofof whomwhom thethe RoarersRoarers standstand inin aweawe,
AndAnd mustmust notnot bebe putput offoff.
Bess.BessBess.II nevernever yetyet heardheard manman soso praisepraise himselfehimself,
But

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The faire Maid of the West:
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ButBut prov’dproved in’thin th’in’th endend aa cowardcoward.
Roughm.RoughmanRoughm.CowardCoward, BessBess?
YouYou willwill offendoffend meme, raiseraise inin meme thatthat furyfury
YourYour beautybeauty cannotcannot calmecalm. GoeGo toto, nono moremore,
YourYour languagelanguage isis tootoo harshharsh andand peremptoryperemptory.
PrayPray letlet meme hearehear nono moremore on’ton’●on’t. II telltell theethee
ThatThat quietquiet dayday scarcescarce pastpast meme thesethese sevenseven yearesyears
II havehave notnot cracktcracked aa weaponweapon inin somesome frayfray,
AndAnd willwill youyou movemove mymy spleenespleen?
Fors.ForsetFors.WhatWhat, threatthreat aa womanwoman?
Bes.BessBes.SirSir, ifif youyou thusthus persistpersist toto wrongwrong mymy househouse,
DisturbeDisturb mymy guestsguests, andand nightlynightly domineiredomineerdomineire,
ToTo putput mymy friendsfriends fromfrom patiencepatience, IleI’ll complainecomplain,
AndAnd rightright my selfemyself beforebefore thethe MagistrateMagi●trateMagistrate.
CanCan wewe notnot livelive inin compassecompass ofof thethe LawLaw,
ButBut mustmust bebe swaggerdswaggered outout on’ton’t?
Roughm.RoughmanRoughm.GoeGo tooto, wenchwench,
II wishwish theethee wellwell, thinkethink on’ton’t, theresthere’s goodgood forfor theethee
Stor’dStored inin mymy brestbreast, andand whenwhen II comecome inin placeplace
II mustmust havehave nono manman toto offendoffend minemine eyeeye:
MyMy lovelove cancan brookebrook nono rivalsrivals. ForFor thisthis timetime
II amam contentcontent youryour CaptainesCaptains shallshall havehave peacepeace,
ButBut mustmust notnot bebe us’dused to’tto’t.
Bes.BessBes.SirSir ifif youyou comecome likelike otherother freefree &and civillcivil GentlemenGentlemen
Y’areY’areYou’re welcomewelcome, otherwiseotherwise mymy dooresdoors areare barr’dbarred youyou.
Roughm.RoughmanRoughm.That’sThat’s mymy goodgood GirleGirl,
II havehave fortunesfortunes laidlaid upup forfor theethee: whatwhat II havehave
CommandCommand itit asas thinethine owneown. GoeGo tooto, bebe wisewise.
Bes.BessBes.WellWell, II shallshall studystudy for’tfor’t.
Roughm.RoughmanRoughm.ConsiderConsider on’ton’t. FarewellFarewell.ExitExit.
Bes.BessBes.MyMy mindemind suggestssuggests meeme thatthat thisthis pratingprating fellowfellow
IsIs somesome notoriousnotorious CowardCoward. IfIf hehe persistpersist
II havehave aa tricketrick, toto trytry whatwhat metall’smetal’s inin himhim.
EnterEnter ClemClem.Clem.Clem.
WhatWhat newesnews withwith youyou?
Cle.ClemCle.II amam nownow goinggoing toto carrycarry thethe CaptainesCaptains aa reckningreckoning.
Bes.

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sig: D1r

or, a Girle worth gold.
17

BesseBess.AndAnd what’swhat’s thethe summe●ummesum?
Clem.ClemClem.LetLet meme seesee, eighteight shillingsshillings andand sixsix pencepence.
Bes.BessBes.HowHow cancan youyou makemake thatthat goodgood? writewrite themthem aa billbill.
Clem.ClemClem.IleI’ll watchwatch themthem forfor thatthat, tis’tis nono timetime ofof nightnight toto
useuse ourour bilsbills, thethe GentlemenGentlemen areare nono dwarfesdwarfsdwarves, andand withwith oneone
wordword ofof mymy mouthmouth, II cancan telltell themthem whatwhat isis toto be-tallbe-tall.
BesseBess.HowHow comescomes itit toto soso muchmuch?
Clem.ClemClem.ImprimisImprimis, sixsix quartsquarts ofof winewine atat sevenseven pencepence thethe
quartquart, sevenseven sixpencessixpences.
BesseBess.WhyWhy dostdost thouthoureckonthou reckonreckon itit soso?
Clem.ClemClem.BecauseBecause asas theythey camecame inin byby habhab nabnab, soso II willwill
bringbring themthem inin aa reckningreckoning atat sixsix andand atat sevenssevens.
Bes.BessBes.WellWell, winewine 33 ss, 66 dd.d.d..
Clem.ClemClem.AndAnd whatwhat wantswants thatthat ofoftenoftenof tenten groatsgroats?
BesseBess.Tis’Tis twotwo pencepence overover.
Clem.ClemClem.ThenThen putput sixsix pencepence moremore toto itit, andand makemake itit 44 ss,
winewine, thoughthough youyou batebate itit themthem inin theirtheir meatemeat.
BesseBess.WhyWhy soso II pretheeprithee?
Clem.ClemClem.BecauseBecause ofof thethe oldold proverbeproverb, VVhatWhat theythey wantwant inin
meatemeat, letlet themthem taketake outout inin drinkedrink. ThenThen forfor twelvetwelve peny-penyworthpeny|worthpennyworth
worth
ofof AnchovesAnchoves, 1818 d.d.
BesseBess.HowHow cancan thatthat bebe?
Clem.ClemClem.MarryMarry veryvery wellwell MistresseMistress, 1212 d.d. AnchovesAnchoves, andand
66 d.d. oyleoil andand vinegervinegar. NayNay theythey shallshall havehave aa sawcysaucy recko-reckoningrecko∣ningreckoning(ning

Bes.BessBes.
AndAnd whatwhat forfor thethe otherother halfehalf crownecrown?
Clem.ClemClem.BreadBread, beerebeer, saltsalt, napkinsnapkins, trencherstrenchers, oneone thingthing
withwith anotheranother, soso thethe summasumma totalistotalis isis 88 ss, 66 d.d.
Bes.BessBes.WellWell, taketake thethe reckoningreckoning fromfrom thethe barbar.
Clem.ClemClem.WhatWhat needsneeds thatthat forsoothforsooth? TheThe GentlemenGentlemen seemseem
toto bebe highhigh flowneflown alreadyalready, sendsend themthem inin butbut anotheranother