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TheThe RoaringRoaring GirleGirl.
MollMoll Cut-PurseCutpursecutpurse.

AsAs itit hathhath latelylately beenebeen ActedActed onon thethe Fortune-stageFortune stageFortune-stage byby
thethe PrincePrince hishis PlayersPlayers.
WrittenWritten byby T.T. MiddletonMiddleton andand T.T. DekkarDekkerDekkar.

[Portrait of Moll Cutpurse]MyMy casecase isis alter’daltered, II mustmust workework forfor mymy liuingliving.

PrintedPrinted atat LondonLondon forfor ThomasThomas ArcherArcher, andand areare toto bebe soldsold atat hishis
shopshop inin PopesPope’spope’s head-pallacehead-palace, neerenear thethe RoyallRoyal
ExchangeExchange. 16111611.

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ToTo thethe ComickeComic, Play-readersPlay-readers, VeneryVenery,
andand LaughterLaughter.

THE_THETHE fashionfashion ofof play-makingplaymaking, II cancan proper-properlyproper∣lyproperly
comparecompare toto nothingnothing, soso naturallynaturally, asas
thethe alterationalteration inin apparellapparel: ForFor inin thethe timetime
ofof thethe Great-crop-doubletGreat crop-doubletGreat-crop-doublet, youryour hugehuge
bombastedbombasted plaiesplays, quiltedquilted withwith mightymighty
wordswords toto leanelean purposepurpose waswas onelyonly thenthen
inin fashionfashion. AndAnd asas thethe doubletdoublet fellfell, neaterneater inuentionsinventions
begannebegan toto setset vpup. NowNow inin thethe timetime ofof sprucenesspruceness, ourour
plaiesplays followefollow thethe nicenesniceness ofof ourour GarmentsGarments, singlesingle plotsplots,
quaintquaint conceitsconceits, letcherouslecherous iestsjests, drestdressed vpup inin hanginghanging
sleeuessleeves, andand thosethose areare fitfit forfor thethe TimesTimes, andand thethe TearmersTermerstermers:
SuchSuch aa kindkind ofof light-colourlight-colour SummerSummer stuffestuff, mingledmingled withwith
diuersediversedivers colourscolours, youyou shallshall findefind thisthis publishedpublished ComedyComedy,
goodgood toto keepekeep youyou inin anan afternooneafternoon fromfrom dicedice, atat homehome inin
youryour chamberschambers; andand forfor veneryvenery youyou shallshall findefind enoughenough,
forfor sixepencesixpence, butbut wellwell couchtcouched andand youyou markemark itit. ForFor Ve-VenusVe∣nusVenus

beingbeing aa womanwoman passespasses throughthrough thethe playplay inin doubletdoublet
andand breechesbreeches, aa brauebrave disguisedisguise andand aa safesafe oneone, ifif thethe Sta-StatuteSta∣tuteStatute
vntyuntie notnot herher cod-peececodpiece pointpoint. TheThe bookbook II makemake nono
questionquestion, butbut isis fitfit forfor manymany ofof youryour companiescompanies, asas wellwell
asas thethe personperson it selfeitselfeitself, andand maymay beebe allowedallowed bothboth GalleryGallery
roomeroom atat thethe play-houseplayhouse, andand chamber-roomechamber-room atat youryour
lodginglodging: worseworse thingsthings II mustmust needsneeds confesseconfess thethe worldworld

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ha’shas taxttaxed herher forfor, thenthanthen hashas beenebeen writtenwritten ofof herher; butbut ’tis’tis
thethe excellencyexcellency ofof aa WriterWriter, toto leaueleave thingsthings betterbetter thenthan
hehe findsfinds ’em’em; thoughthough somesome obscœneobscoeneobscene fellowfellow (thatthat carescares notnot
whatwhat hehe writeswrites againstagainst othersothers, yetyet keepeskeeps aa mysticallmystical bau-baudy-housebau∣dy-housebawdy-house
himselfehimself, andand entertainesentertains drunkardsdrunkards, toto makemake
vseuse ofof theirtheir pocketspockets, andand ventvent hishis priuateprivate bottle-alebottle-ale atat
mid-nightmidnight) thoughthough suchsuch aa oneone wouldwould hauehave riptripped vpup thethe
mostmost nastynasty vicevice, thatthat euerever hellhell belchtbelched forthforth, andand presentedpresented
itit toto aa modestmodest AssemblyAssembly; yetyet wewe ratherrather wishwish inin suchsuch
discoueriesdiscoveries, wherewhere reputationreputation lieslies bleedingbleeding, aa
slackenesseslackness ofof truthtruth, thenthan fulnessefullness
ofof slanderslander.



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AA PlayPlay (expectedexpected longlong) makesmakes thethe AudienceAudience lookelook
ForFor wonderswonders: thatthat eacheach ScœneScoeneScenescene shouldshould bebe aa bookebook,
Compos’dComposed toto allall perfectionperfection; eacheach oneone comescomes
AndAnd bringsbrings aa playplay in’sin’s headhead withwith himhim: vpup hehe summessums,
WhatWhat hehe wouldwould ofof aa RoaringRoaring GirleGirl hauehave writwrit;
IfIf thatthat hehe findesfinds notnot herehere, hehe mewesm●wesmews atat itit.
OnelyOnly wewe intreateentreat youyou thinkethink ourour ScoeneScenescene.
CannotCannot speakespeak highhigh (thethe subiectsubject beingbeing butbut meanemean)
AA RoaringRoaring GirleGirl (whosewhose notesnotes tilltill nownow neuernever werewere)
ShallShall fillfill withwith laughterlaughter ourour vastvast TheaterTheater,
That’sThat’s allall whichwhich II daredare promisepromise: TragickTragic passionpassion,
AndAnd suchsuch grauegrave stuffestuff, isis thisthis dayday outout ofof fashionfashion.
II seesee attentionattention setssets widewide opeopeopen herher gatesgates
OfOf hearinghearing, andand withwith couetouscovetous listninglistening waiteswaits,
ToTo knowknow whatwhat GirleGirl, thisthis RoaringRoaring GirleGirl shouldshould bebe.
(ForFor ofof thatthat TribeTribe areare manymany.) OneOne isis sheeshe
ThatThat roaresroars atat midnightmidnight inin deepedeep TauerneTavern bowlesbowls,
ThatThat beatesbeats thethe watchwatch, andand ConstablesConstablesConstable’s controulscontrols;
AnotherAnother roaresroars i’thi’th’i’th dayday timetime, swearesswears, stabbesstabs, giuesgives brauesbraves,
YetYet sellssells herher soulesoul toto thethe lustlust ofof foolesfools andand slauesslaves.
BothBoth thesethese areare Suburbe-roarersSuburb-roarers. ThenThen there’sthere’s (besidesbesides)
AA ciuillcivil CittyCity RoaringRoaring GirleGirl, whosewhose pridepride,
FeastingFeasting, andand ridingriding, shakesshakes herher husbandshusband’s statestate,
AndAnd leauesleaves himhim RoaringRoaring throughthrough anan yroniron grategrate.
NoneNone ofof thesethese RoaringRoaring GirlesGirls isis oursours: sheeshe fliesflies
VVithWith wingswings moremore loftylostylofty. ThusThus herher charactercharacter lyeslies,
YetYet whatwhat needeneed characterscharacters? whenwhen toto giuegive aa gesseguess,
IsIs betterbetter thenthan thethe personperson toto expresseexpress;
ButBut wouldwould youyou knowknow whowho ’tis’tis? wouldwould youyou hearehear herher namename?
SheeSheshe isis cal’dcalled maddemad MollMoll; herher lifelife, ourour actsacts proclaimeproclaim.


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DramatisDramatis PersonæPersonaePersonae.

SirSir AlexanderAlexander WentgraueWentgraneWengraveWentgrane, andand Neats-footNeatfootNeats-foot hishis manman.
SirSir AdamAdam AppletonAppleton.
SirSir DauyDavy DapperDapper.
SirSir BewteousBeauteousBewteous GanymedGanymedeGanymed.
LordLord NolandNoland.
YongYoung WentgraueWentgraneWengraveWentgrane,
IackeJack DapperDapper, andand GullGull hishis pagepage.

}CiuesCives &et VxoresUxoresuxores.

MolMoll thethe RoaringRoaring GirleGirl.

SirSir GuyGuy Fitz-allardFitz-allard.
MaryMary Fitz-allardFitz-allard hishis daughterdaughter.

CurtilaxCurtilax aa SergiantSergeantsergeant, andand
HangerHanger hishis YeomanYeoman.



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TheThe RoaringRoaring GirleGirl.

Act.Act. 1.1. Scoe.SceneScoe. 1.1.

EnterEnter MaryMaryMarry Fitz-AllardFitz-Allard disguiseddisguised likelike aa sempstersempster withwith aa casecase forfor
bandsbands, andand NeatfootNeatfoot aa seruingmanservingman withwith herher, withwith aa napkinnapkin onon
hishis shouldershoulder, andand aa trenchertrencher inin hishis handhand asas fromfrom tabletable.

THe_THeTHeThe yongyoung gentlemangentleman (ourour youngyoung maistermaster) SirSir
AlexandersAlexander’s sonneson, isis itit intointo hishis earesears (sweetsweet
DamsellDamsel) (emblemeemblem ofof fragilityfragility) youyou
desiredesire toto hauehave aa messagemessage transportedtransported, oror toto bebe tran-transcendenttran∣scendent
MaryMaryAA priuateprivate wordword oror twotwo SirSir, nothingnothing
Neat.NeatfootNeat.YouYou shallshall fructifiefructify inin thatthat whichwhich youyou comecome forfor: youryour
pleasurepleasure shallshall bebe satisfiedsatisfied toto youryour fullfull contentationcontentation: II willwill
(fairestfairest treetree ofof generationgeneration) watchwatch whenwhen ourour youngyoung maistermaster isis
erectederected, (thatthat isis toto saysay vpup) andand deliuerdeliver himhim toto thisthis youryour mostmost
whitewhite handhand.
MaryMaryThankesThanks sirsir.
Neat.NeatfootNeat.AndAnd withallwithal certifiecertify himhim, thatthat II hauehave culledculled outout forfor
himhim (nownow hishis bellybelly isis replenishedreplenished) aa daintierdaintier bitbit oror modicomemodicum
thenthanthen anyany laylay vponupon hishis trenchertrencher atat dinnerdinner hathhath hehe notionnotion
ofof youryour namename, II beseechbeseech youryour chastitiechastity.
MaryMaryOneOne SirSir, ofof whomwhom hehe be spakebebespakebe spake spoken fallingfalling bandsbands.

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The Roaring Girle.

Neat.NeatfootNeat.FallingFalling bandsbands, itit shallshall soso bebe giuengiven himhim, ifif youyou
pleaseplease toto ventureventure youryour modestymodesty inin thethe hallhall, amongstamongst aa curle-curlepatedcurle∣patedcurl-pated
companycompany ofof ruderude seruingmenserving-men, andand taketake suchsuch asas theythey cancan
setset beforebefore youyou, youyou shallshall bebe mostmost seriouslyseriously, andand ingeniouslyingeniously
MaryMaryII hauehave dyeddied indeedindeed alreadyalready sirsir.
Neat.NeatfootNeat. OrOr willwill youyou vouchsafevouchsafe toto kissekiss thethe liplip ofof aa
cupcup ofof richrich OrleansOrleans inin thethe buttrybuttery amongstamongst ourour waitingwaiting womenwomen.
MaryMaryNotNot nownow inin truthtruth sirsir.
Neat.NeatfootNeat.OurOur yongyoung MaisterMaster shallshall thenthen hauehave aa feelingfeeling ofof youryour
beingbeing herehere presentlypresently itit shallshall soso bebe giuengiven himhim.ExitExit NeatfooteNeatfootNeatfoote,
MaryMarymarryII humblyhumbly thankethank youyou sirsir, butbut thatthat mymy bosomebosom
IsIs fullfull ofof bitterbitter sorrowessorrows, II couldcould smilesmile,
ToTo seesee thisthis formallformal ApeApe playplay AntickAntic trickstricks:
ButBut inin mymy breastbreast aa poysonedpoisoned arrowarrow stickessticks,
AndAnd smilessmiles cannotcannot becomebecome meme, LoueLove wouenwoven sleightlyslightly
(SuchSuch asas thythy falsefalse heartheart makesmakes) weareswears outout asas lightlylightly,
ButBut louelove beingbeing truelytruly bredbred ithi’th’ith’ thethe soulesoul (likelike minemine)
BleedsBleeds eueneven toto deathdeath, atat thethe leastleast woundwound itit takestakes,
TheThe moremore wewe quenchquench thisthis, thethe lesseless itit slakesslakes: OhOhO meme!

EnterEnter SebastianSebastian WengraueWengraveWengraue withwith NeatfooteNeatfootNeatfoote.

Seb.SebastianSeb.AA SempsterSempster speakespeak withwith meme, saistsaystsayest thouthou.
Neat.NeatfootNeat.YesYes sirsir, she’sshe’s therethere, viuaviva vocevoce, toto deliuerdeliver herher auricularauricular
Seb.SebastianSeb.WithWith meme sweetsweet heartheart. WhatWhat istis’t?
MaryMaryII hauehave broughtbrought homehome youryour bandsbands sirsir.
Seb.SebastianSeb.BandsBands: NeatfooteNeatfoot.
Seb.SebastianSeb.PritheePrithee looklook inin, forfor allall thethe GentlemenGentlemen areare vponupon risingrising.
Neat.NeatfootNeat.YesYes sirsir, aa mostmost methodicallmethodical attendanceattendance shallshall bebe giuengiven.
Seb.SebastianSeb.AndAnd dostdost hearehear, ifif mymy fatherfather callcall forfor meme, saysay II amam
busybusy withwith aa SempsterSempster.
Neat.NeatfootNeat.YesYes sirsir, heehe shallshall knowknow itit thatthat youyou areare busiedbusied withwith aa
needle womanneedleneedlewomanneedle woman woman.
Seb.SebastianSeb.In’sIn’s eareear goodgood Neat-footeNeatfoot,

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The Roaring Girle.

Neat.NeatfootNeat.ItIt shallshall bebe soso giuengiven himhim.ExitExit Neat-footeNeatfoot.
Seb.SebastianSeb.BandsBands, y’arey’areyou’re mistakenmistaken sweetesweet heartheart, II bespakebespakebespoke nonenone,
whenwhen, wherewhere, II pritheeprithee, whatwhat bandsbands, letlet meme seesee themthem.
MaryMaryYesYes sirsir, aa bondbond fastfast sealedsealed, withwith solemnesolemn oathesoaths,
SubscribedSubscribed vntounto (asas II thoughtthought) withwith youryour soulesoul:
DeliueredDelivered asas youryour deeddeed inin sightsight ofof heauenheaven,
IsIs thisthis bondbond canceldcancelled, hauehave youyou forgotforgotforgotten meme.
Seb.SebastianSeb.Ha!Ha! lifelife ofof mymy lifelife: SirSir GuyGuy Fitz-AllardsFitz-allard’s daughterdaughter,
WhatWhat hashas transform’dtransformed mymy louelove toto thisthis strangestrange shapeshape?
StayStay: makemake allall suresure, soso: nownow speakespeak andand bebe briefebrief,
BecauseBecause thethe wolfe’swolf’s atat doredoor thatthat lyeslies inin waitewait,
ToTo preyprey vponupon vsus bothboth albeitalbeit minemine eyeseyes
AreAre blestblessed byby thinethine, yetyet thisthis soso strangestrange disguisedisguise
HoldsHolds meme withwith fearefear andand wonderwonder.
MaryMaryMinesMine’smine’s aa loathedloathed sightsight,
WhyWhy fromfrom itit areare youyou banishtbanished elseelse soso longlong.
Seb.SebastianSeb.II mustmust cutcut shortshort mymy speechspeech, inin brokenbroken languagelanguage,
ThusThus muchmuch sweetesweet MollMoll, II mustmust thythy companycompany shunshun,
II courtcourt anotheranother MollMoll, mymy thoughtsthoughts mustmust runrun,
AsAs aa horsehorse runsruns, thatsthat’s blindblind, roundround inin aa MillMill,
OutOut eueryevery stepstep, yetyet keepingkeeping oneone pathpath stillstill.
MaryMaryVmhUmhumh: mustmust youyou shunshun mymy companycompany, inin oneone knotknot
HaueHave bothboth ourour handshands byt’hbyth’ handshands ofof heauenheaven benebeen tyedtied,
NowNow toto bebe brokebroke, II thoughtthought meme onceonce youryour BrideBride:
OurOur fathersfathers diddid agreeagree onon thethe timetime whenwhen,
AndAnd mustmust anotheranother bed-fellowbedfellow fillfill mymy roomeroom.
Seb.SebastianSeb.SweeteSweet maidmaid, letslet’s looselose nono timetime, tis’tis inin heauensheaven’s bookebook
SetSet downedown, thatthat II mustmust hauehave theethee: anan oathoath wewe tooketook,
ToTo keepkeep ourour vowesvows, butbut whenwhen thethe knightknight youryour fatherfather
WasWas fromfrom minemine partedparted, stormesstorms beganbegan toto sitsit
VponUpon mymy couetouscovetous fathersfather’s browbrow: whichwhich fellfell
FromFrom themthem onon meme, hehe reckondreckoned vpup whatwhat goldgold
ThisThis marriagemarriage wouldwould drawdraw fromfrom himhim, atat whichwhich hehe sworeswore,
ToTo looselose soso muchmuch bloudblood, couldcould notnot grieuegrieve himhim moremore.
HeHe thenthen diswadesdissuades meme fromfrom theethee, cal’dcalled theethee notnot fairefair,
AndAnd asktasked whatwhat isis sheeshe, butbut aa beggarsbeggar’s heireheir?
HeHe scorn’dscorned thythy dowrydowry ofof (5000)five thousand5000 MarkesMarks.

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The Roaring Girle.

IfIf suchsuch aa summesum ofof monymoney couldcould bebe foundfound,
AndAnd II wouldwould matchmatch withwith thatthat, hee’dhe’d notnot vndoeundo itit,
ProuidedProvided hishis bagsbags mightmight addeadd nothingnothing toto itit,
ButBut vow’dvowed, ifif II tooketook theethee, naynay moremore, diddid sweareswear itit,
SaueSave birthbirth fromfrom himhim II nothingnothing shouldshould inheritinherit.
MaryMaryWhatWhat followesfollows thenthen, mymy ship-wrackeshipwreck.
Seb.SebastianSeb.DearestDearest nono:
ThoThough wildlywildly inin aa laborinthlabyrinth II gogo,
MyMy endend isis toto meetemeet theethee: withwith aa sideside windewind
MustMust II nownow sailesail, elseelse II nono hauenhaven cancan findefind
ButBut bothboth mustmust sinkesink for euerforforeverfor euerever. There’sThere’s aa wenchwench
Cal’dCalled MolMoll, madmad MolMoll, oror merrymerry MollMoll, aa creaturecreature
SoSo strangestrange inin qualityquality, aa wholewhole cittycity takestakes
NoteNote ofof herher namename andand personperson, allall thatthat affectionaffection
II oweowe toto theethee, onon herher inin counterfetcounterfeit passionpassion,
II spendspend toto madmad mymy fatherfather: hehe beleeuesbelieves
II doatedote vponupon thisthis RoaringRoaring GirleGirl, andand grieuesgrieves
AsAs itit becomesbecomes aa fatherfather forfor aa sonneson,
ThatThat couldcould bebe soso bewitchtbewitched: yetyet ilei’llI’ll gogo onon
ThisThis crokedcrooked wayway, sighsigh stillstill forfor herher, fainefain dreamesdreams,
InIn whichwhich ileI’ll talketalk onelyonly ofof herher, thesethese streamesstreams
ShallShall, II hopehope, forceforce mymy fatherfather toto consentconsent
ThatThat heerehere II anchoranchor ratherrather thenthan bebe rentrent
VponUpon aa rockerock soso dangeroursdangerousdangeroursdangerous, ArtArt thouthou pleas’dpleased,
BecauseBecause thouthou seestseest wewe areare way-laidwaylaid, thatthat II taketake
AA pathpath thatsthat’s safesafe, thothough itit bebe farrefar aboutabout,
MaryMarymarryMyMy prayersprayers withwith heauenheaven guideguide theethee,
Seb.SebastianSeb.ThenThen II willwill onon,
MyMy fatherfather isis atat handhand, kissekiss andand begonbegone;
HowresHours shallshall bebe watchtwatched forfor meetingsmeetings; II mustmust nownow
AsAs menmen forfor fearefear, toto aa strangestrange IdollIIdolI doll doll bowbow.
Seb.SebastianSeb.IleI’ll guideguide theethee forthforth, whenwhen nextnext wewe meetemeet,
AA storystory ofof MollMoll shallshall makemake ourour mirthmirth moremore sweetsweet.ExeuntExeunt
EnterEnter SirSir AlexanderAlexander WengraueWengraveWengraue, SirSir DauyDavy DapperDapper, SirSir AdamAdam
, GoshakeGoshawkGoshake, LaxtonLaxton, andand GentlemenGentlemen.

OmnesOmnesThanksThanks goodgood SirSir AlexanderAlexander forfor ourour bounteousbounteous cheerecheer:

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The Roaring Girle.

Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexFyFie, fyfie, inin giuinggiving thankesthanks youyou paypay totoo dearedear.
S.SirS. Dap.DapperDap.WhenWhen bountybounty spreadesspreads thethe tabletable, faithfaith t’were’twere sinnesin,
(atat goinggoing ofof) ifif thankesthanks shouldshould notnot stepstep inin.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexNoNo moremore ofof thankesthanks, nono moremore, II marymarry SirSir,
Th’innerTh’inner roomeroom waswas tootoo closeclose, howhow dodo youyou likelike
ThisThis ParlourParlour GentlmenGentlemen?
OmnesOmnesOhOhO passingpassing wellwell.
AdamAdamWhatWhat aa sweetsweet breathbreath thethe aireair castscasts heerehere, soso coolecool,
Gosh.GoshawkGosh.II likelike thethe prospectprospect bestbest.
Lax.LaxtonLax.SeeSee howhow tis’tis furnishtfurnished.
S.SirS. Dap.DapperDap.AA veryvery fairefair sweetesweet roomeroom.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexSirSir DauyDavy DapperDapper,
TheThe furniturefurniture thatthat dothdoth adorneadorn thisthis roomeroom,
CostCost manymany aa fairefair graygrey groatgroat ereere itit camecame herehere,
ButBut goodgood thingsthings areare mostmost cheapecheap, whenwhen th’areth’arethey’re mostmost deeredear,
NayNay whenwhen youyou lookelook intointo mymy galleriesgalleries,
HowHow brauelybravely theythey areare trim’dtrimmed vpup, youyou allall shallshall sweareswear
YareY’areyou’re highlyhighly pleasdpleased toto seesee whatswhat’s setset downedown therethere:
StoriesStoriesStoreys ofof menmen andand womenwomen (mixtmixed togethertogether
FaireFair onesones withwith foulefoul, likelike sun-shinesunshine inin wetwet wetherweather)
WithinWithin oneone squaresquare aa thousandthousand headsheads areare laidlaid
SoSo closeclose, thatthat allall ofof headsheads, thethe roomeroom seeemesseems mademade,
AsAs manymany facesfaces therethere (fiil’dfill’dfilled withwith blithblithe lookeslooks)
ShewShow likelike thethe promisingpromising titlestitles ofof newnew bookesbooks,
(WritWrit merilymerrily) thethe ReadersReaders beingbeing theirtheir owneown eyeseyes,
WhichWhich seemeseem toto mouemove andand toto giuegive plauditiesplaudities,
AndAnd herehere andand therethere (whilstwhilst withwith obsequiousobsequious earesears,
Throng’dThronged heapesheaps dodo listenlisten) aa cut pursecutcutpursecutpursepurse thruststhrusts andand leeresleers
WithWith haukeshawk’s eyeseyes forfor hishis preyprey: II needneed notnot shewshow himhim,
ByBy aa hanginghanging villanousvillainous lookelook, your seluesyourselves maymay knowknow himhim,
TheThe faceface isis drawnedrawn soso rarelyrarely, ThenThenThan sirsir belowbelow,
TheThe veryvery flowrefloorflower (asas twere’twere) waueswaves toto andand frofro,
AndAnd likelike aa floatingfloating IlandIsland, seemesseems toto mouemove,
VponUpon aa seasea boundbound inin withwith shoresshores aboueabove,EnterEnter SebastianSebastian andand
M.MasterM. Greene-witGreenwit.

OmnesOmnes.TheseThese sightssights areare excellentexcellent.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexI’leI’ll shewshow youyou allall,
SinceSince wewe areare metmet, makemake ourour partingparting ComicallComical.

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The Roaring Girle.

Seb.SebastianSeb.ThisThis gentlemangentleman (mymy friendfriend) willwill taketake hishis leaueleave SirSir.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexHaHa, taketake hishis leaueleave (SebastianSebastian) whowho?
Seb.SebastianSeb.ThisThis gentlemangentleman.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexYourYour louelove sirsir, hashas alreadyalready giuengiven meme somesome timetime,
AndAnd ifif youyou pleaseplease toto trusttrust mymy ageage withwith moremore,
ItIt shallshall paypay doubledouble interestinterest: GoodGood sirsir staystay.
Green.GreenwitGreen.II hauehave beenebeen tootoo boldbold.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexNotNot soso sirsir. AA merrymerry dayday
Mongst’MongstAmongst friendsfriends beingbeing spentspent, isis betterbetter thenthan goldgold sau’dsaved.
SomeSome winewine, somesome winewine. WhereWhere bebe thesethese knauesknaves II keepekeep.

EnterEnter threethree oror fourefour SeruingmenServing-menserving-men, andand NeatfooteNeatfootNeatfoote.

Neat.NeatfootNeat.AtAt youryour worshipfullworshipful elbowelbow, sirsir.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexYouYou areare kissingkissing mymy maidsmaids, drinkingdrinking, oror fastfast asleepasleep.
Neat.NeatfootNeat.YourYour worshipworship hashas giuengiven itit vsus rightright.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexYouYou varletsvarlets stirrestir,
ChairesChairs, stoolesstools andand cushionscushions: pre’theeprithee sirsir DauyDavy DapperDapper,
MakeMake thatthat chairechair thinethine.
SirSir Dap.DapperDap.Tis’Tis butbut anan easieeasy giftgift,
AndAnd yetyet II thankethank youyou forfor itit sirsir, I’leI’ll taketake itit.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexAA chairechair forfor oldold sirsir AdamAdam AppletonAppleton.
Neat.NeatfootNeat.AA backeback friendfriend toto youryour worshipworship.
AdamAdam.MaryMarrymarry goodgood NeatfootNeatfoot,
II thankethank theethee forfor itit: backeback friendsfriends sometimessometimes areare goodgood.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexPrayPray makemake thatthat stoolestool youryour pearchperch, goodgood M.MasterM. GoshawkeGoshawk.
Gosh.GoshawkGosh.II stoopestoop toto youryour lurelure sirsir.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexSonneSon SebastianSebastian,
TakeTake MaisterMaster GreenewitGreenwit toto youyou.
Seb.SebastianSeb.SitSit deeredear friendfriend.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexNayNay maistermaster LaxtonLaxton furnishfurnish maistermaster LaxtonLaxton
WithWith whatwhat hehe wantswants (aa stonestone) aa stoolestool II wouldwould saysay, aa stoolestool.
LaxtonLaxton.II hadhad ratherrather standstand sirsir.ExeuntExeunt seruantsservants.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexII knowknow youyou hadhad (goodgood M.MasterM. LaxtonLaxton.) SoSo, soso
NowNow hereshere’s aa messemess ofof friendsfriends, andand (gentlemengentlemen)
BecauseBecause timestime’sTime’s glasseglass shallshall notnot bebe runningrunning longlong,
I’leI’ll quickenquicken itit withwith aa prettypretty taletale.

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SirSir Dap.DapperDap.GoodGood talestales dodo wellwell,
InIn thesethese badbad dayesdays, wherewhere vicevice doesdoes soso excellexcel.
AdamAdam.BeginBegin sirsir AlexanderAlexander.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexLastLast dayday II metmet
AnAn agedaged manman vponupon whosewhose headhead waswas scor’dscored,
AA debtdebt ofof iustjust soso manymany yearesyears asas thesethese,
WhichWhich II oweowe toto mymy grauegrave, thethe manman youyou allall knowknow.
OmnesOmnes.HisHis namename II praypray youyou sirsir.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexNayNay youyou shallshall pardonpardon meme,
ButBut whenwhen hehe sawsaw meme (withwith aa sighsigh thatthat brakebrakebroke,
OrOr seem’dseemed toto breakebreak hishis heart-stringsheartstrings) thusthus hehe spakespakespoke:
OhOhO mymy goodgood knightknight, saiessays hehe, (andand thenthen hishis eieseyes
WereWere richerricher eueneven byby thatthat whichwhich mademade themthem poorepoor,
TheyThey hadhad spentspent soso manymany tearestears theythey hadhad nono moremore.)
OhOhO sirsir (saiessays hehe) youyou knowknow itit, forfor youyou haha’ seeneseen
BlessingsBlessings toto rainerain vponupon minemine househouse andand meme:
FortuneFortune (whowho slauesslaves menmen) waswas mymy slaueslave: herher wheelewheel
HathHath spunspun meme goldengolden threadsthreads, forfor II thankethank heauenheaven,
II nerene’er hadhad butbut oneone causecause toto cursecurse mymy starresstars,
II ask’tasked himhim thenthen, whatwhat thatthat oneone causecause mightmight bebe.
OmnesOmnes.SoSo SirSir.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexHeHe paus’dpaused, andand asas wewe oftenoften seesee,
AA seasea soso muchmuch becalm’dbecalmed, therethere cancan bebe foundfound
NoNo wrincklewrinkle onon hishis browbrow, hishis waueswaves beingbeing drownddrowned
InIn theirtheir owneown ragerage: butbut whenwhen th’imperiousth’imperious windwind,
VseUse strangestrange inuisibleinvisible tyrannytyranny toto shakeshake
BothBoth heauensheaven’sheavens andand earthsearth’s foundationfoundation atat theirtheir noysenoise:
TheThe seasseas swellingswelling withwith wrathwrath toto partpart thatthat frayfray
RiseRise vpup, andand areare moremore wildwild, moremore madmad, thenthan theythey.
EuenEveneven soso thisthis goodgood oldold manman waswas byby mymy questionquestion
Stir’dStirred vpup toto roughnesseroughness, youyou mightmight seesee hishis gallgall
FlowFlow eueneven in’sin’s eieseyes: thenthen grewgrew hehe fantasticallfantastical.
SirSir Dap.DapperDap.FantasticallFantastical, haha, haha.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexYesYes, andand talketalk odlyoddly.
AdamAdam.PrayPray sirsir proceedproceed,
HowHow diddid thisthis oldold manman endend?
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexMaryMarrymarry sirsir thusthus.

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HeHe leftleft hishis wildwild fitfit toto readread oreo’er hishis cardscards,
YetYet thenthen (thoughthough ageage castcast snowsnow onon allall hishis haireshairs)
HeHe ioy’djoyed becausebecause (saiessays hehe) thethe GodGod ofof goldgold
HasHas beenebeen toto meme nono niggardniggard: thatthat diseasedisease
(OfOf whichwhich allall oldold menmen sickensicken) AuariceAvarice
NeuerNever infectedinfected meme.
Lax.LaxtonLax.HeHe meanesmeans notnot himselfehimself i’mei’m suresure.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexForFor likelike aa lamplamp,
FedFed withwith continuallcontinual oyleoil, II spendspend andand throwthrow
MyMy lightlight toto allall thatthat needneed itit, yetyet hauehave stillstill
EnoughEnough toto serueserve my selfemyself, OhOhO butbut (quothquoth hehe)
ThoThough heauensheauens-dewheaven’sheavens-dew dewdew fallfall, thusthus onon thisthis agedaged treetree,
II hauehave aa sonneson thatsthat’s likelike aa wedgewedge dothdoth cleauecleave,
MyMy veryvery heartheart rooteroot,
SSirS, Dap.DapperDap.HadHad hehe suchsuch aa sonneson,
Seb,SebastianSeb,NowNow II dodo smellsmell aa foxfox stronglystrongly.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexLetsLet’slet’s seesee: nono MaisterMaster Greene-witGreenwit isis notnot yetyet
SoSo mellowmellow inin yearesyears asas hehe; butbut asas likelike SebastianSebastian,
IustJust likelike mymy sonneson SebastianSebastian, suchsuch anotheranother.
Seb.SebastianSeb.HowHow finelyfinely likelike aa fencerfencer mymy fatherfather fetchesfetches hishisby-bloweshis by-blowesby-blowsby-blows
toto hithit meme, butbut ifif II beatebeat youyou notnot atat youryour owneown weaponweapon ofof sub-subtiltysub∣tiltysubtlety

ThisThis sonneson (saithsaith hehe) thatthat shouldshould bebe
TheThe columnecolumn andand mainemain archarch vntounto mymy househouse,
TheThe crutchcrutch vntounto mymy ageage, becomesbecomes aa whirlewindwhirlwind
ShakingShaking thethe firmefirm foundationfoundation,
AdamAdamTis’Tis somesome prodigallprodigal.
Seba.SebastianSeba.WellWell shotshot oldold AdamAdam BellBell.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexNoNo cittycity monstermonster neitherneither, nono prodigallprodigal,
ButBut sparingsparing, warywary, ciuillcivil, andand (thothough wiuelessewifeless)
AnAn excellentexcellent husbandhusband, andand suchsuch aa trauellertraveller,
HeHe hashas moremore tonguestongues inin hishis headhead thenthanthen somesome hauehave teethteeth,
S.SirS. Dap,Dap.DapperDap.II hauehave butbut twotwo inin mynemine
Gosh.GoshawkGosh.SoSo sparingsparing andand soso warywary,
WhatWhat thenthen couldcould vexvex hishis fatherfather soso.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexOhOhO aa womanwoman.
Seb.SebastianSeb.AA fleshflesh flyfly, thatthat cancan vexvex anyany manman.

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Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexAA scuruyscurvy womanwoman,
OnOn whomwhom thethe passionatepassionate oldold manman sworeswore hehe doateddoted:
AA creaturecreature (saithsaith hehe) naturenature hathhath broughtbrought forthforth
ToTo mockemock thethe sexsex ofof womanwoman. ItIt isis aa thingthing
OneOne knowesknows notnot howhow toto namename, herher birthbirth beganbegan
EreEre sheshe waswas allall mademade. Tis’Tis womanwoman moremore thenthan manman,
ManMan moremore thenthan womanwoman, andand (whichwhich toto nonenone cancan haphap)
TheThe SunneSun giuesgives herher twotwo shadowesshadows toto oneone shapeshape,
NayNay moremore, letlet thisthis strangestrange thingthing, walkewalk, standstand oror sitsit,
NoNo blazingblazing starrestar drawesdraws moremore eyeseyes afterafter itit.
S.SirS. Dap.DapperDap.AA MonsterMonster, tis’tis somesome MonsterMonster.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexShee’sShe’s aa varletvarlet.
Seb.SebastianSeb.NowNow isis mymy cuecue toto bristlebristle.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexAA naughtynaughty packepack.
Seb.SebastianSeb.Tis’Tis falsefalse.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexHaHa boyboy.
Seb.SebastianSeb.Tis’Tis falsefalse.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexWhatsWhat’swhat’s falsefalse, II saysay shee’sshe’s noughtnaught.
Seb.SebastianSeb.II saysay thatthat tonguetongue
ThatThat daresdares speakespeak soso (butbut yoursyours) stickessticks inin thethe throatethroat
OfOf aa rankerank villainevillain, setset your selfeyourself asideaside.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexSoSo sirsir whatwhat thenthen.
Seb.SebastianSeb.AnyAny herehere elseelse hadhad lyedlied.
II thinkethink II shallshall fitfit youyou asideaside.
SirSir Dap.DapperDap.DothDoth thisthis concerneconcern himhim.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexAhAh sirrasirrah boyboy.
IsIs youryour bloudblood heatedheated: boylesboils itit: areare youyou stungstung,
IleI’ll piercepierce youyou deeperdeeper yetyet: OhOhO mymy deeredear friendsfriends,
II amam thatthat wretchedwretched fatherfather, thisthis thatthat sonneson,
ThatThat seessees hishis ruineruin, yetyet headlongheadlong onon dothdoth runrun.
AdamAdam.WillWill youyou louelove suchsuch aa poysonpoison.
S.SirS. Dap.DapperDap.FyeFie, fyefie.
Seb.SebastianSeb.Y’areY’areYou’re allall madmad.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexTh’artTh’artthou’rt sickesick atat heartheart, yetyet feelstfeel’stfeelst itit notnot: ofof allall thesethese,
WhatWhat GentlemanGentleman (butbut thouthou) knowingknowing hishis diseasedisease

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MortallMortal, wouldwould shunshun thethe curecure: ohoho MaisterMaster GreenewitGreenwit,
WouldWould youyou toto suchsuch anan IdollIdol bowbow.
Greene.GreenwitGreene.NotNot II sirsir.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexHeer’sHere’s MaisterMaster LaxtonLaxton, hashas hehe mindmind toto aa womanwoman
AsAs thouthou hasthast.
Lax.LaxtonLax.NoNo notnot II sirsir.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexSirSir II knowknow itit.
Lax.LaxtonLax.ThereTheirThere goodgood partsparts areare soso rarerare, theretheirthere badbadbade soso commoncommon,
II willwill hauehave noughtnaught toto dodo withwith anyany womanwoman.
SirSir Dap.DapperDap.Tis’Tis wellwell donedone MaisterMaster LaxtonLaxton.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexOhOhO thouthou cruellcruel boyboy,
ThouThou wouldstwouldst withwith lustlust anan oldold mansman’s lifelife destroydestroy,
BecauseBecause thouthou seestseest I’meI’m halfe wayhalfehalf-wayhalf way way inin mymy grauegrave,
ThouThou shouelstshovel’st dustdust vponupon meme: wodwould thouthou mightestmightest hauehave
ThyThy wishwish, mostmost wickedwicked, mostmost vnnaturallunnatural.
Dap.DapperDap.WhyWhy sirsir, tis’tis thoughtthought, sirsir GuyGuy Fitz-AllardsFitz-Allard’sFitz-allard’s daughterdaughter
ShallShall wedwed youryour sonneson SebastianSebastian.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexSirSir DauyDavy DapperDapper.
II hauehave vponupon mymy kneesknees, woodwooedwood thisthis fondfond boyboy,
ToTo taketake thatthat vertuousvirtuous maidenmaiden.
Seb.SebastianSeb.HarkeHark youyou aa wordword sirsir.
YouYou onon youryour kneesknees hauehave curstcursed thatthat vertuousvirtuous maidenmaiden,
AndAnd meme forfor louingloving herher, yetyet dodo youyou nownow
ThusThus bafflebaffle meme toto mymy faceface: werewere notnot youryour kneesknees
InIn suchsuch intreatesentreats, giuegive meme Fitz-AllardsFitz-Allard’sFitz-allard’s daughterdaughter.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexIleI’ll giuegive theethee rats-baneratsbane ratherrather.
Seb.SebastianSeb.WellWell thenthen youyou knowknow
WhatWhat dishdish II meanemean toto feedfeed vponupon.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexHarkeHark GentlemenGentlemen,
HeHe swearesswears toto hauehave thisthis cut-pursecutpurse drabdrab, toto spitespite mymy gallgall.
OmnesOmnes.MaisterMaster SebastianSebastian.
Seb.SebastianSeb.II amam deafedeaf toto youyou allall.
ImeI’m soso bewitchtbewitched, soso boundbound toto mymy desiresdesires,
TearesTears, prayersprayers, threatsthreats, nothingnothing cancan quenchquench outout thosethose firesfires
ThatThat burneburn withinwithin meme.ExitExit SebastianSebastian.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexHerHer bloudblood shallshall quenchquench itit thenthen,
LooseLose himhim notnot, ohOhOhO diswadedissuade himhim GentlemenGentlemen.
Sir Dap.

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SirSir Dap.DapperDap.HeHe shallshall bebe weandweaned II warrantwarrant youyou.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexBeforeBefore hishis eyeseyes
LayLay downedown hishis shameshame, mymy griefegrief, hishis miseriesmiseries.
OmnesOmnes.NoNo moremore, nono moremore, awayaway.ExeuntExeunt allall butbut sirsir

Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexII washwash aa NegroNegro,
LoosingLosing bothboth painespains andand costcost: butbut taketake thythy flightflight,
IleI’ll bebe mostmost neerenear theethee, whenwhen I’meI’m leastleast inin sightsight.
WildeWild BuckeBuck ileI’ll hunthunt theethee breathlessebreathless, thouthou shaltshalt runrun onon,
ButBut II willwill turneturn theethee whenwhen I’meI’m notnot thoughtthought vponupon.
EnterEnter RalphRalph TrapdoreTrapdoorTrapdore:
NowNow sirrasirrah whatwhat areare youyou, leaueleave youryour ApesApe’sape’s trickestricks andand speakespeak.
Trap.TrapdoorTrap.AA letterletter fromfrom mymy CaptaineCaptain toto youryour WorshipWorship.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexOhOhO, ohOhOhO, nownow II rememberremember tis’tis toto preferreprefer theethee intointo mymy
Trap.TrapdoorTrap.ToTo bebe aa shiftershifter vnderunder youryour WorshipsWorship’sworship’s nosenose ofof aa cleanclean
trenchertrencher, whenwhen ther’sthere’s aa goodgood bitbit vpon’tupon’t.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexTrothTroth honesthonest fellowfellow humhhumh haha letlet meme seesee,
ThisThis knaueknave shallshall bebe thethe axeaxe toto hewhew thatthat downedown
AtAt whichwhich II stumblestumble, hashas aa faceface thatthat promisethpromiseth
MuchMuch ofof aa villainevillain, II willwill grindgrind hishis witwit,
AndAnd ifif thethe edgeedge proueprove finefine makemake vseuse ofof itit.
ComeCome hitherhither sirrasirrah, canstcanst thouthou bebe secretsecret, haha.
Trap.TrapdoorTrap.AsAs twotwo craftycrafty AtturneysAttorneys plottingplotting thethe vndoingundoing ofof
theirtheir clyentsclients.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexDidstDidst neuernever, asas thouthou hasthast walktwalked aboutabout thisthis townetown
HeareHear ofof aa wenchwench cal’dcalled MollMoll, madmad merrymerry MollMoll.
Trap.TrapdoorTrap.MollMoll cutpursecutpurse sirsir.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexTheThe samesame, dostdost thouthou knowknow herher thenthen,
Trap.TrapdoorTrap.AswellAs wellas well asas II knowknow twill’twill rainerain vponupon SimonSimon andand IudesJude’sjude’s dayday
nextnext, II willwill siftsift allall thethe tauernstaverns ithi’th’ith’ cittycity, andand drinkedrink halfehalf potspots
withwith allall thethe WatermenWatermen atha’th’ath’ banksidebankside, butbut ifif youyou willwill sirsir IleI’ll findfind
herher outout.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexThatThat tasktask isis easyeasy, dootdo’t thenthen, holdhold thythy handhand vpup.
WhatsWhat’swhat’s thisthis, istis’t burntburntburned?
Trap.TrapdoorTrap.NoNo sirsir nono, aa littlelittle sindgdsinged withwith makingmaking fire workesfirefireworksfire workes works.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexTher’sThere’sthere’s monymoney, spendspend itit, thatthat beingbeing spentspent fetchfetch moremore.
Trap.TrapdoorTrap.OhOhO sirsir thatthat allall thethe poorepoor souldierssoldiers inin EnglandEngland hadhad

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suchsuch aa leaderleader. ForFor fetchingfetching nono water SpanielwaterWater-spanielwaterSpaniellSpaniel isis likelike meme.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexThisThis wenchwench wewe speakespeak ofof, straiesstrays soso fromfrom herher kindkind
NatureNature repentsrepents sheshe mademade herher. Tis’Tis aa MermaidMermaid
HasHas toldtolledtold mymy sonneson toto shipwrackeshipwreck.
Trap.TrapdoorTrap.IleI’ll cutcut herher combecomb forfor youyou.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexIleI’ll telltell outout goldgold forfor theethee thenthen: hunthunt herher forthforth,
CastCast outout aa lineline hunghung fullfull ofof siluersilver hookeshooks
ToTo catchcatch herher toto thythy companycompany: deepedeep spendingsspendings
MayMay drawdraw herher thatsthat’s mostmost chastchaste toto aa mansman’s bosomebosom.
Trap.TrapdoorTrap.TheThe ginglingjinglinggingling ofof GoldenGolden belsbells, andand aa goodgood foolefool withwith
aa hobbyhorsehobby-horse, wilwill drawdraw allall thethe whooreswhores ithi’th’ith’ townetotown townetoto dancedance inin aa
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexOrOr ratherrather, forfor thatsthat’s bestbest, (theythey saysay sometimessometimes
SheeShe goesgoes inin breechesbreeches) followfollow herher asas herher manman.
Trap.TrapdoorTrap.AndAnd whenwhen herher breechesbreeches areare offoff, sheeshe shallshall followfollow meme.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexBeateBeat allall thythy brainesbrains toto serueserve herher.
Trap.TrapdoorTrap.ZoundsZounds sirsir, asas countrycountry wencheswenches beatebeat creamecream, tilltill
butterbutter comescomes.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexPlayPlay thouthou thethe suttlesubtle spiderspider, weaueweave finefine netsnets
ToTo insnareensnare herher veryvery lifelife.
Trap.TrapdoorTrap.HerHer lifelife.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexYesYes suckesuck
HerHer heart-bloudheart-bloodheartblood ifif thouthou canstcanst, twisttwist thouthou butbut cordscords
ToTo catchcatch herher, IleI’ll findefind lawlaw toto hanghang herher vpup.
Trap.TrapdoorTrap.SpokeSpokeSpoken likelike aa WorshipfullWorshipful bencherbencher.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexTraceTrace allall herher stepssteps: atat thisthis shee-foxesshe-fox’s denden
WatchWatch whatwhat lambslambs enterenter: letlet meme playplay thethe sheepeheardshepherd
ToTo sauesave theirtheir throatsthroats fromfrom bleedingbleeding, andand cutcut hershers.
Trap.TrapdoorTrap.ThisThis isis thethe gollgoll shallshall dootdo’t.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexBeBe firmefirm andand gainegain meme
EuerEver thinethine owneown. ThisThis donedone II entertaineentertain theethee:
HowHow isis thythy namename.
Trap.TrapdoorTrap.MyMy namename sirsir isis RaphRaph TrapdoreTrapdoorTrapdore, honesthonest RaphRaph.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexTrapdoreTrapdoorTrapdore, bebe likelike thythy namename, aa dangerousdangerous stepstep
ForFor herher toto ventureventure onon, butbut vntounto meme.
Trap.TrapdoorTrap.AsAs fastfast asas youryour solesole toto youryour booteboot oror shooeshoe sirsir.
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexHenceHence thenthen, bebe littlelittle seeneseen herehere asas thouthou canstcanst.

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IleI’ll stillstill bebe atat thinethine elbowelbow.
Trap.TrapdoorTrap.TheThe trapdorestrapdoor’strapdoors setset.
MollMoll ifif youyou budgebudge y’arey’areYou’re gongone: thisthis meme shallshall crownecrown,
AA RoaringRoaring BoyBoy, thethe RoaringRoaring GirleGirl putsputs downedown,
Alex.AlexAlexanderAlexGod a mercyGodGod-a-mercyGod a a mercy mercy, looselose nono timetime.ExeuntExeunt.

TheThe threethree shopsshops openopen inin aa rankerank: thethe firstfirst aa PoticariesPothecary’s shopshop, thethe nextnext
aa FetherFeather shopshop: thethe thirdthird aa SempstersSempster’ssempster’s shopshop: MistresseMistress GallipotGallipot
inin thethe firstfirst, MistresseMistress TiltyardTiltyard inin thethe nextnext, MaisterMaster OpenworkeOpenworkOpenworke
andand hishis wifewife inin thethe thirdthird, toto themthem entersenters LaxtonLaxton, GoshawkeGoshawk andand

Mi.MistressMi Open.OpenOpenworkOpenGentlemenGentlemen whatwhat istis’t youyou lackelack. WhatWhat istis’t youyou
buybuy, seesee finefine bandsbands andand ruffesruffs, finefine lawneslawns, finefine cambrickescambrics,
whatwhat istis’t youyou lackelack GentlemenGentlemen, whatwhat istis’t youyou buybuy?
Lax.LaxtonLax.YondersYonder’syonder’s thethe shopshop.
Gosh.GoshawkGosh.IsIs thatthat sheeshe.Lax.LaxtonLax.PeacePeace.
GreenGreenwitGreenSheeShe thatthat mincesminces TobaccoTobacco.
Lax.LaxtonLax.IAyI: sheesshe’s aa GentlewomanGentlewoman borneborn II cancan telltell youyou, thothough itit
bebe herher hardhard fortunefortune nownow toto shreadshred IndianIndian pot-hearbespot-herbspotherbs.
Gosh.GoshawkGosh.OhOhO sirsir tis’tis manymany aa goodgood womanswoman’s fortunefortune, whenwhen herher
husbandhusband turnsturns bankroutbankrupt, toto beginbegin withwith pipespipes andand setset vpup againeagain.
Lax.LaxtonLax.AndAnd indeedindeed thethe raysingraising ofof thethe womanwoman isis thethe liftinglifting
vpup ofof thethe mansman’s headhead atat allall timestimes, ifif oneone florishflourish, tothert’othertother willwill budbud
asas fastfast II warrantwarrant yeye.
Gosh.GoshawkGosh.ComeCome th’artth’artthou’rt familiarlyfamiliarly acquaintedacquainted therethere, II gropegrope thatthat.
Lax.LaxtonLax.AndAnd youyou gropegrope nono betterbetter ithi’th’ith’ darkdark youyou maymay chancechance lyelie
ithi’th’ith’ ditchditch whenwhen y’arey’areyou’re drunkedrunk.
Gosh.GoshawkGosh.GoGo th’artth’artthou’rt aa misticallmystical letcherlecher.
Lax.LaxtonLax.II willwill notnot denydeny butbut mymy creditcredit maymay taketake vpup anan ounceounce
ofof purepure smoakesmoke.
Gosh.GoshawkGosh.MayMay taketake vpup anan ellell ofof purepure smocksmock; awayaway gogo, tis’tis thethe closestclosest
strikerstriker. LifeLife II thinkthink hehe cōmitscōmitscommits veneryvenery 40forty40 footefoot deepedeep, nono mansman’s
awareaware on’ton’t, II likelike aa palpablepalpable smockstersmockster gogo toto workework soso openlyopenly,
withwith thethe trickstricks ofof artart, thatthat I’meI’m asas aparantlyapparently seenseen asas aa nakednaked boyboy
inin aa viallvial, &and werewere itit notnot forfor aa guiftgift ofof trecherytreachery thatthat II hauehave inin meme
toto betraybetray mymy friendfriend whēwhēwhen hehe putsputs mostmost trusttrust inin meme (massemass yonderyonder

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heehe isis tootoo ) andand byby hishis iniurieinjury toto makemake goodgood mymy accesseaccess toto
herher, II shouldshould appeareappear asas defectiuedefective inin courtingcourting, asas aa FarmersFarmer’sfarmer’s
sonneson thethe firstfirst dayday ofof hishis featherfeather, thatthat dothdoth nothingnothing atat CourtCourt,
butbut woewoe thethe hangingshangings andand glasseglass windoweswindows forfor aa monthmonth toge-togethertoge∣thertogether
andand somesome brokenbroken wayting womanwaytingwaiting-womanwaiting woman woman forfor euerever afterafter. II findfind
thosethose imperfectionsimperfections inin mymy venerievenery, thatthat were’twere’t notnot forfor flatterieflattery
andand falshoodfalsehood, II shouldshould wantwant discoursediscourse andand impudenceimpudence, andand heehe
thatthat wantswants impudenceimpudence amongamong womenwomen, isis worthyworthy toto beebe kicktkicked
outout atat bedsbed’s feetfeet. HeHe shallshall notnot seesee meme yetyet.
Greene.GreenwitGreene.TrothTroth thisthis isis finelyfinely shredshred.
Lax.LaxtonLax.OhOhO womenwomen areare thethe bestbèstbèstbest mincersmincers.
Mist.Mistress Gal.GallipotGal.’Thad’Thad binbeen aa goodgood phrasephrase forfor aa CookesCook’scook’s wifewife sirsir.
Lax.LaxtonLax.ButBut ’twill’twill serueserve generallygenerally, likelike thethe frontfront ofof aa newenew
AlmanackeAlmanac; asas thusthus: CalculatedCalculated forfor thethe meridianmeridian ofof CookesCooks’cook’s
wiueswives, butbut generallygenerally forfor allall EnglishwomenEnglishwomen.
Mist.Mistress Gal.GallipotGal.NayNay youyou shallshall ha’teha’thave’t sirsir, II hauehave fildfilled itit forfor youyou.
SheeSheshe putsputs itit toto thethe firefire.
Lax.LaxtonLax.TheThe pipe’spipe’s inin aa goodgood handhand, andand II wishwish minemine alwaiesalways soso.
Gree.GreenwitGree.ButBut notnot toto bebe vs’dused aa’a thatthat fashionfashion.
Lax.LaxtonLax.OO pardonpardon meme sirsir, II vnderstandunderstand nono frenchfrench.
II praypray bebe couerdcovered. IackeJack aa pipepipe ofof richrich smoakesmoke.
Gosh.GoshawkGosh.RichRich smoakesmoke; that’sthat’s 6.six6. pencepence aa pipepipe istis’t?
Green.GreenwitGreen.ToTo meme sweetsweet LadyLady.
Mist.Mistress Gal.GallipotGal.BeBe notnot forgetfulforgetful; respectrespect mymy creditcredit; seemseem strangestrange;
ArtArt andand WitWit makesmakes aa foolefool ofof suspitionsuspicion: praypray bebe wariewary.
Lax.LaxtonLax.PushPush, II warrantwarrant youyou: comecome, howhow istis’t gallantsgallants?
Green.GreenwitGreen.PurePure andand excellentexcellent.
Lax.LaxtonLax.II thoughtthought ’twas’twas goodgood, youyou werewere grownegrown soso silentsilent; youyou
areare likelike thosethose thatthat louelove notnot toto talketalk atat victualsvictuals, thothough theythey makemake
aa worseworse noysenoise i’thei’the nosenose thenthanthen aa commoncommon fidlersfiddler’s prenticeprentice, andand
discoursediscourse aa wholewhole SupperSupper withwith snufflingsnuffling; II mustmust speakespeak aa
wordword withwith youyou anoneanon.
Mist.Mistress Gal.GallipotGal.MakeMake youryour wayway wiselywisely thenthen.
Gosh.GoshawkGosh.OhOhO whatwhat elseelse sirsir, hee’she’s perfectionperfection it selfeitself, fullfull ofof man-mannersmanmanners-((nersners,

ButBut notnot anan acreacre ofof groundground belongingbelonging toto ’em’em.
Green.GreenwitGreen.IAyI andand fullfull ofof formeform, h’ash’ashas ne’rene’ernever aa goodgood stoolestool in’sin’s

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The Roaring Girle.

Gosh.GoshawkGosh.ButBut aboueabove allall religiousreligious: heehe prayethprayeth dailydaily vponupon elderelder
Green.GreenwitGreen.AndAnd valiantvaliant aboueabove measuremeasure; h’ash’ashas runnerun threethree streetsstreets
fromfrom aa SerieantSergeant.
Lax.LaxtonLax.PuhPuh, PuhPuh.hehe blowesblows tobaccotobacco inin theirtheir facesfaces.
Green.GreenwitGreen. Gosh.GoshawkGosh.OhOhO, puhpuh, hoho, hoho.
Lax.LaxtonLax.SoSo, soso.
Mist.Mistress Gal.GallipotGal.WhatsWhat’swhat’s thethe mattermatter nownow sirsir?
Lax.LaxtonLax.II protestprotest I’meI’m inin extreameextreme wantwant ofof moneymoney, ifif youyou cancan
supplysupply meeme nownow withwith anyany meanesmeans, youyou doedo meeme thethe greatestgreatest
pleasurepleasure, nextnext toto thethe bountiebounty ofof youryour louelove, asas euerever poorepoor gen-gentlemangen∣tlemangentleman
Mist.Mistress Gal.GallipotGal.What’sWhat’s thethe summesum wouldwould pleasurepleasure yeye sirsir?
ThoThough youyou deseruedeserve nothingnothing lesseless atat mymy handshands.
Lax.LaxtonLax.WhyWhy ’tis’tis butbut forfor wantwant ofof opportunitieopportunity thouthou know’stknow’stknowest;
II putput herher offoff withwith opportunitieopportunity stillstill: byby thisthis lightlight II hatehate herher,
butbut forfor meanesmeans toto keepekeep meme inin fashionfashion withwith gallantsgallants; forfor whatwhat
II taketake fromfrom herher, II spendspend vponupon otherother wencheswenches, bearebear herher inin handhand
stillstill; sheeshe hashas witwit enoughenough toto robrob herher husbandhusband, andand II waiesways e-enoughe∣noughenough
toto consumeconsume thethe moneymoney: whywhy howhow nownow? whatwhat thethe
Gosh.GoshawkGosh.ThouThou hasthast thethe cowardliestcowardliest tricketrick toto comecome beforebefore aa
mansman’s faceface andand stranglestrangle himhim ereere heehe bebe awareaware, II couldcould findfind inin
mymy heartheart toto makemake aa quarrellquarrel inin earnestearnest.
Lax.LaxtonLax.PoxePox andand thouthou do’stdost, thouthou know’stknow’stknowest II neuernever vseuse toto fightfight
withwith mymy friendsfriends, thou’lthou’llthou’lt butbut looselose thythy labourlabour in’tin’t.
IackeJack DapperDapper!EnterEnter I.JackI. DapperDapper, andand hishis manman GullGull.
Greene.GreenwitGreene.MounsierMonsieurmonsieur DapperDapper, II diuedive downedown toto youryour ancklesankles.
I.JackI. Dap.DapperDap.SaueSave yeye gentlemengentlemen allall threethree inin aa peculiarpeculiar salutesalute.
Gosh.GoshawkGosh.HeHe werewere illill toto makemake aa lawyerlawyer, heehe dispatchesdispatches threethree atat
Lax.LaxtonLax.SoSo welwell saidsaid: butbut isis thisthis ofof thethe samesame TobaccoTobacco mistressemistress
M.MistressM. Gal.GallipotGal.TheThe samesame youyou hadhad atat firstfirst sirsir.
Lax.LaxtonLax.II wishwish itit nono betterbetter: thisthis willwill serueserve toto drinkedrink atat mymy
Gosh.GoshawkGosh.ShallShall wewe tastetaste aa pipepipe on’ton’t?

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The Roaring Girle.

Lax.LaxtonLax.NotNot ofof thisthis byby mymy trothtroth GentlemenGentlemen, II hauehave swornesworn
beforebefore youyou.
Gosh.GoshawkGosh.WhatWhat notnot IackeJack dapperdapper.
Lax.LaxtonLax.PardonPardon meme sweetsweet IackeJack, I’meI’m sorrysorry II mademade suchsuch aa rashrash